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Idols of the Heart

2012-02-11T20:48:00.000-08:00

I debated a couple of days whether I was going to blog about this or not. Sometimes I wonder about blogging... why do we do it? I'm doing this in hopes that maybe it will help someone else and maybe to remind me (I pray, Lord, I don't need to be reminded).

This week the Lord, in His infinite kindness, revealed an idol that I had in my heart. I didn't know it was there, had no clue.... well, I began wondering about it in November but not in the context of it being an idol just something I "should probably think about giving up". As you my sweet readers (3 or 4 of you) know I'm very fearful of flying... very fearful. I always ask for prayer before I fly, though I'm never very specific about what to pray. I pray before I fly and while I'm flying. I try to focus on the Lord and take every thought captive, like we are taught to do in 2 Corinthians 10:5. The Lord has been VERY gracious and has brought me to the point of being able to stay pleasant toward my family members as it gets closer to time to fly... I'm talking the weeks leading up to flying, especially the week prior. It used to get very ugly around our house, well, let's say, I used to get very ugly. Well many years ago it got so bad that I began taking Valium to fly. I had talked to a pastor who I respect and asked what he thought about my taking the Valium. He said if I needed that to be able to pray, without sinning (I guess telling God what to do is not the way to pray, i.e. "get me on the ground, now". I praise Him for NOT answering that particular prayer... yes I have really prayed that) Anyway, so I kept taking the Valium. Now, in November I had the thought, "you really shouldn't take the Valium to fly because your trusting in it not in the Lord." Well, I swept that thought a way as quick as I could blink... are. you. kidding. me!!!! We were planning a trip to see our Special Maryland Five in December. The thought of giving up the ido... I mean the Valium came to me several times but I always brushed the thought away. At the end of November I had an appointment with my doctor.... did I need any refills? Oh, yes we are flying in December could I get some more Valium? Of course! :) So we went to Maryland and I had my Valium.

So, what happened this week? The thoughts from November became a conviction from the strangest of places. I wasn't thinking about flying or anything of the sort. I was reading a transcript from Revive Our Hearts (a ministry of Nancy Leigh DeMossAsherim), I opened the bottle and I put those pills in the garbage disposal and I told the Lord that it was for Him that I did that. I have no regrets. None. Am I nervous about our trip? Yes but not fearful, not paralyzed. I know that by God's grace, which is lavish, I will get on the plane un-medicated. I am looking forward to see how the Lord is going to work. God is so good, so kind, so patient. So many times I think the Lord will only work through tragic means to teach me things... I don't know why I think that, He never really has. I'm so thankful that though this was hard, He was so gentle with me. Thank you, Father. You truly are a great and might God... the only God.

Thankful Thursday

2012-02-02T12:14:00.000-08:00

I want to preface this posts with the statement that these "Thankful Thursday" post should assume that I am thankful for my heavenly Father, my Savior, the Holy Spirit, God's word, my family and my friends... the biggys. I want these posts to be about the extra little graces(or big graces) that the Lord gives. With that said:

I'm thankful for the fun happy spirit of the physical therapists where I get PT on my ankle. I love going to PT just because everyone is in a good mood, joking around and just generally happy. It makes the hard work that much easier.

Following the lead of others: Thankful Thursday

2012-01-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

I"m thankful to have found out that I have had an impact on a young woman at our church. What a blessing to know that God will use you in another person's life just by living your life. What an honor to be used by Him at all.

Thirty Years Ago Today

2012-01-19T11:56:00.000-08:00

Today is a big day. Today my second daughter turns thirty. When I had Dawn thirty years ago I had no idea what the Lord had in mind. Before I go there I want to review and reflect on her birth story. The day before Dawn was born I became concerned because every time I coughed, laughter or sneezed I would "wet myself". I was mortified that this was happening. I finally said something to my mom the next day. She told me we should go to the doctor and get it checked. Now at this time of my life I was living with my mom and dad up in a leeettle town called Challis. It is in Idaho. Dawn's father was in boot camp. The doctor was out fishing so the physician's assistant, who also went to our church, was there and checked the leakage with litmus paper and it was not what I thought it was, it was amniotic fluid. So I was going to have a baby that day. It was January, obviously, there was snow on the ground. We went to the pastor's house so we could make plans for Autumn to be cared for and how we were going to go to Salmon, the town where the hospital was... about 60 miles from Challis. I remember Pastor Chuck being so tender and caring. He made me sit in their recliner so I could rest for the work I had ahead of me :) This was all sort of silly to me since I didn't feel like I was going to have a baby, no contractions or anything else. There was also talk of how we needed to be careful driving because of the ice/snow on the roads and the windingness (is that a word) of the road. I don't remember the drive much, but I do think Chuck followed us to the hospital to be sure we got there safely. We got there safely. Within a short amount of time I was in a room and hooked up to an IV with pitocin started. My contractions started about 1:00pm. The hospital I had was sort of behind the times and were not really familiar with "natural childbirth". As my labor progressed the nurse, she was pretty old, came in with two little box things and talked about an enema and a shave. Well, I hadn't had either with Autumn so there was no way I was having it with this baby. After a bit of back and forth she realized I was not going to let her do either procedure and she left the room. I would be interested to see what she wrote in my chart :) I was determined to have a drug free labor, except of course for the pitocin. After several hours I was very tired and tired of being in labor. My mom was with me the whole time but Dad would come in periodically to check on me. When I was at my low point, it seemed the labor was slowing. My contractions became farther apart and didn't last as long. I was very frustrated. Dad came in and I told him I just couldn't go on. He told me that he believed the Lord was giving me a break before transition and the birth of the baby. I thought he was nuts. Well, about twenty minutes later the labor kicked up a lot. The nurse had the doctor come in and check me... I was at 5-6 cm.... he said I would be another 2-3 hours. I remember distinctly looking at him and telling him I couldn't do that. He said "well, I'm going to go grab some dinner. I'll check on you when I get back." Well, he left and the next thing I know, I HAD to push. The nurse was there and I told her I had to push. She turned around and told me,"I have to go get the delivery room ready so just pant and hold it." Mom said, "you have to pant" I remember her being right over me and helping me concentrate on panting....It was a strange experience. I sort of pushed at the end of each pant... crazy. Well, I honestly don't know exactly what happened but I do remember telling my mom, "I think the baby is here, what is it." She peeked down on the bed and she said, "yes, I think it is a girl."(I had been convinced I was having a boy, no ultra-sound for proof though) We just sort of stood there not really knowing what to do. Pretty soon the nurse came back in and was in a dither because "the baby was born out of the sterile environment of the delivery room." Oh, also, Dad had run out to get the doctor as he was getting into his car to go eat dinner. I honestly don't remember a lot of what happened the next few minutes, except I remember watching blood going up my IV and wondering if it was okay. The doctor came in and was really angry. He made comments about how he was going to have to spend a long time sewing me up since I was probably horribly torn. Well, God took care of me.... not a tear, not. one. Dad took a couple pics of Dawn as they whisked her off to the nursery, through the unsterile halls of the hospital, I might add.

So, here we are thirty years later.... really? really thirty years? Could it possibly have been that long? I didn't know it but that day the Lord allowed me to have a precious little girl who has grown into a wonderful, amazing, godly woman. She is my daughter, sister in Christ, mentor and one of my best friends. She is a fantastic wife, mother and servant of her Lord. I'm so grateful to the Lord for knitting that baby together in my womb, allowing her to grow into the woman she is, for choosing her before the foundation of the world and letting us have a close relationship even though we live far apart.

I love you so much! I pray you have the happiest of birthdays. Remember you are celebrating thirty years of God's grace, there is nothing better to celebrate!

In Case You Didn't Know...

2012-01-14T07:09:00.001-08:00

I have started another blog. It is with Dawn and is about home-management. We plan on blogging about all things dealing with the home, cooking, cleaning, organizing, child-rearing. We don't claim to be experts by any stretch of the imagination but we know what our experiences tell us. I hope you will join me over here I will keep blogging here, who knows maybe I will start blogging here more? :D

A Couple of Things I Don't Want to Forget

2011-11-23T14:05:00.000-08:00

This will be a short post but I want to post them so I don't forget them.

The morning of surgery Tim came to pray and read scripture with me before surgery. I honestly don't remember which scripture he read... I think it was Ps. 121 (just double checked with my hubby and it is Ps. 121) In the second verse it says "He will not let your foot be moved". Tim stopped and we all sort of giggled. Tim said he didn't think he had ever read that Psalm for a foot/ankle surgery :)

The other neat thing that happened involved my anesthesiologist. She and my nurse came in thinking Tim had already prayed, which he hadn't. Dr. Flaxman started talking about how they do a popliteal block. At a break in conversation Tim asked if he could pray. Dr. Flaxman apologized and said she thought we already had prayed and that yes, Tim could pray. I was thrilled when she laid her hands on my leg and prayed with us! After Tim prayed he and Richard had to leave the room so I could get my block done. As she was working I asked Dr. Flaxman if she was a believer. She said "No, actually I'm Jewish, but I believe in the power of prayer." My reaction was mixed. I felt a kindredship with this woman, knowing she believed in and prayed to the same God I believed in and prayed to but at the same time I felt a sadness knowing that she doesn't know Jesus, doesn't believe in the Messiah. Part of me wonders if she doesn't believe in Messiah, can she believe in the true God? I do know that at the time I was comforted by the fact that she believes in the power of prayer and being Jewish she believes in the God of the Old Testament... who is the God who doesn't change. How kind of God to bring me that comfort at that time.

Lessons Learned from the Couch....

2011-11-19T08:06:00.000-08:00

no not the psychiatric couch :) from my living room couch. As most of you know I had surgery on my ankle to repair a tendon. The recovery has been much different than I expected. I knew I'd be on crutches but I didn't know I would be "non weight bearing" and "keep ankle elevated as much as possible" for almost three weeks. I didn't think about the fact when you are on crutches you need your hands to "crutch" along so you can't carry anything, unless you have pockets. Before surgery I had several friends offer to bring meals for Richard and I. My thoughts when they asked were "oh, it is just the two of us, not a big deal, you have your own family to tend to, etc." My words were, "Oh no, thanks we will be fine" Of course I thought I'd be up and around in a couple of days.

The Lessons: actually there are a few.

~Don't be prideful and refuse offers of help. This has been huge for me, not just because I refused offers of meals. I have had to have help in so many ways everyday. Richard has done most of it. I could brush my teeth, eat and go to the bathroom on my own. I couldn't fix meals (till I learned I could get around in a computer chair to get my lunch), shower or get dressed on my own. Cleaning the house, laundry....all that, out the window! (Side note: several years ago Matt wrote Dawn a poem entitled "The Life-ring" read it here It has helped me so much these last weeks) As I was on the couch contemplating my pride and thinking about how my pride was making more work for my poor husband I realized I had presumed I knew what the Lord had planned or maybe better worded would be I knew what *I* had planned.

~Don't think you know what is going to happen, the Lord is the one with the plan not you. Do I think I would have changed my response to the offers of help if I had known what would happen.... honestly I don't think so, to my shame. I hope now I would welcome and and all offers of help. Another thing the Lord revealed to me as a result of my pride was:

~I stole blessings from those I told "no" These people love me, wanted to help me, wanted to be the hands and feet of our Lord and I said no.... this is shameful. It was hard to go back and ask for forgiveness. Even then my pride reared its ugly head because I began to think "now they are thinking your are begging for meals and your asking forgiveness is just a way to get the meals" Oh our sin and our enemy are so horrid.... makes me long for heaven.

~TV is not a good companion There are so many channels and so many "good" shows on but they just waste time, breed discontent and make you hungry (if you watch food network :) ) and it doesn't keep you from being lonely. Listening to music and spending time with the Lord is so much better, I realize that is a given. Did I do well in this area? No. I did better than the last time I was stuck on the couch for an extended period of time but not as well as I would like. Wonder if anyone does DVD sermons. Going back to the being lonely...

~Remember those who are going through what I've been through I need to remember what it was like to be stuck on the couch and pick up the phone to call and chat, see if I can visit or send a card to those who have some reason to be stuck at home on the couch for a while. One sweet friend sent a couple of cards to me, they were such day brighteners!

~The sin that so easily besets us So yesterday I got the splint off. One would think I would be giddy with excitement... I was not. The splint was not comfortable. It was heavy and cumbersome. It wouldn't let me sleep well at night. It kept me from putting my foot down and having my weight distributed evenly on two legs. It kept me on crutches which made it hard to be balanced and easy to fall. But I got used to the splint. It became sort of a comfort to me because I knew that as long as I had the splint on my ankle was "safe". (in the short run that is true, but in the long run keeping the splint on would make more trouble) As I contemplated getting the splint off I thought about the verse Hebrews 12:1 (the sin that so easily besets us) and how much like clinging sin my splint was. I really didn't want to let go of the splint, I used to it, it brought some comfort mostly because I didn't know what it would be like to be rid of it. There was an element of fear in letting go. (This actually happened, somewhat, when I actually came to Christ initially) I didn't have a choice it was time for the splint to come off. My doctor put me in a cast... similar to a splint but I can walk in it. I'm still sort of working through and thinking about this lesson. I do know that as the splint represents sin I can become very used to/entangled in sin(especially the respectable ones). When the Lord says "it is time for this sin to come off" I can become anxious. I don't want to be that way, I want to be rid of my sin but honestly I like being comfortable. I'm so grateful we have a Lord/Shepherd who is gentle (unlike the ladies who took off my splint) who can remove our sin and help us walk in His way with His Holy Spirit guiding us.

This has been a bit of a hard journey for me but I'm so grateful to the Lord for His hand of grace and mercy through all of it. I'm not finished but I'm making progress because of Him :)

Hope is.....

2011-09-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Encouraging

Imaginative

Gregarious

Happy

Talented

Enthusiastic

Exuberant

Nice

Did I just "say" that?? The time has flown. I recently heard a saying that is so true..."The days are long, the years are short" I would add too short! This was eighteen years ago today (9/15):

obviously Hope isn't the only one who has changed :)

This is where we were one month ago today.... van packed and ready to move her to California to start college

Hope has grown into a beautiful young woman. She loves the Lord and seeks to do His will. I'm so proud of her and grateful to the Lord to call her my daughter, sister and friend.

I love you, Hope! Happy Birthday

Life

2011-08-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life is really hard and emotions get the best of me. Now is one of those times. This past weekend was difficult.

~A sweet young couple, who I've known since forever, the wife was a good friend of my daughter since jr. high (?), lost their little boy. She was around 37 weeks pregnant. I can.not imagine what they are going through. I can.not imagine leaving the hospital with empty arms. In the last 18 months to two years I've heard about too many babies dying before they are born. I hurt for those mommas and daddies. Such pain, but I know these families know the Lord so there is grace and hope.... I pray they have peace and comfort. I know God is good.... regardless of life circumstances.

~Yesterday at church was the most stunning announcement of my life (maybe). Our worship/missions pastor, who I have known for 25 years is leaving our church. It is for good reasons. He and his sweet wife want to care for her parents in their old age. They live in Florida. In the last several years we have so many changes in our pastoral staff. I am learning I don't like change (does that make me old?) Todd and Tandy leaving is most painful. I can't even explain it. I don't want to be selfish but where else does the pain come from? Todd and Tandy's last Sunday is TWO days before we leave to take Hope to college....another hard change!

~Also, during church yesterday the Lord revealed an area of pride in my life. I have felt offended by someone in our church. It is all me. This person, I think, would be sad to know that they would do anything offend me. Honestly all they are doing is living their life and I struggle with being left out of it. Shameful, prideful isn't it? I'm praying and begging the Lord to change my heart toward this person. I don't think it is something I need to go to them about because like I said it is my heart issue. I believe the Lord will change my heart, I know He doesn't want me to stay where I am.

I'm so glad He is the God who does not change and that He is the God who can change me. I trust that in all that has happened this weekend and all that I've had to think about this weekend He will use to change me more into the image of His son and for His glory.

Scatter 2011

2011-07-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

I have so many thoughts running through my head. I want to get at least some of it out before I forget... as if I could.

~We have amazing youth! They are so eager to share the Gospel. It was most evident at the boys and girls club. Every time I would look around the room I would see at least one of our kids going over a tract or with an open Bible talking to one of the children. But they not only shared the gospel they played hard with the kids we were ministering too, regardless of the horrible heat. The way they played you would never know it was hot as the blazes and they did not complain. They would drink their water or their gatorade and get up and go again. They are amazing.

~In the backyard bible club I was a part of Jeffery Davidson was the teacher. He did a wonderful job. He explained things so well. I'm sure the children understand what falling short of the goal means :)

~It was a joy to get to know some youth I don't/didn't know. My day team and night teams were a lot of fun

~I learned I really am a mom, not a youth leader and that is okay. I think on mission trip they might need some moms :)

~I heard later that some of the kids (especially the older ones) weren't terribly appreciative of the constant reminders to drink water/gatorade and to get in the shade to cool off some. To them I say (not that they read my blog) "It is a mom thing. We really have your best interest at heart. I tried to only ask if you were looking especially sweaty or red in the face. I'm sorry if you felt nagged but I really was trying to look out for you"

~We have incredible cooks in our church. The care groups provided dinner for us each night. Each meal was so tasty. Thank you for your service to our team.

~For those who worked behind the scenes, some I'm aware of, some I am not, thank you for your hard work to prepare all that needed to be prepared: paper work, maps, lunches, shopping for supplies, everything.

~Please pray! Pray for the children who heard the gospel, that the seed planted would come to fruition. Pray for our team members who went on to do the Louisiana trip this week, for strength both physical and spiritual. Pray also that we won't lose the desire to share the gospel but that it will increase.

This seems short for all I feel but there comes a point where words don't come any more. I praise the Lord for allowing me to be a part of this trip. I trust He has been glorified.

How the Casey Anthony Verdict Affected Me

2011-07-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I blogged. Sorry to my 7 followers.

So the Casey Anthony trial, I didn't watch it, didn't really keep up with it, till the end. We were in Orlando the last week of the trial and since the trial was in Orlando it was all over the TV. I really didn't watch it but the little bit I saw I found interesting, in a very sad way. I did watch the verdict. When the Clerk of the Court read the verdict (they read a count then the verdict, second count verdict and so on) I was shocked at the not guilty charges. But the Lord had something else in store for me. After the Clerk of the Court reads the verdict, they then pole the jury to be sure each juror is given the opportunity to say yes that is what they said. THEN the Clerk of the Court hands the verdict to the JUDGE. He calls the defendant (Casey) to the bench with a couple of her lawyers. The JUDGE then reads each count, the juries verdict then he says (in the case of the not guilty verdicts) "THIS COURT FINDS YOU NOT GUILTY" I wept, I weep now, not because I don't really agree with the verdict but because I see that is how the Lord deals with me. I stand before the holy, blameless, righteous JUDGE and He says "This court finds you not guilty". I stand knowing I am guilty and yet He is saying I'm not... more than that He says it not because I'm not guilty but because I am but my penalty has been paid. I was overwhelmed with the scene. I pray that I will never forget that court scene and what the Lord taught me through that. As far as Casey Anthony is concerned, I'm not her judge, what I think about her is not important. I know that one day she will meet THE JUDGE. I pray that when that day comes He will say "this court finds you not guilty" because she has had her guilt removed by the blood of Christ. Who knew the lesson you could learn from watching the verdict of a trial read. I'm grateful.

First post of the year... I may ramble

2011-01-02T17:27:00.000-08:00

It has been a month since I have blogged. I have a lot of thoughts that I have been considering blogging but it is all just little snips here and there, maybe not blog-worthy. But as I posted before, maybe it doesn't matter.

First of all I've heard so many people say they are excited about 2011. Can I be honest? I've dreaded it, to an extent. I cried New Year's Eve and New Year's day. I didn't want it to be 2011. I prayed and I told the Lord I knew it had to come but I really didn't want it to. I sit here blogging about this year, with tears. "Why?" you ask? Since the day I started homeschooling Hope I knew she would graduate in the year 2011. Class of '11, whoo hoo!! I can. not. believe. it. is. here. I know this is good. I know God will give me strength. I know not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. But I am sad!!! I know I will always be "Momma" to my girls and I'm glad, but part of my life, a big part, is about over. Don't people grieve when they retire? It will be different, esp. in August, when she goes to school. I know what I want to do after she goes to school and I look forward to it. (Gosh, this really is rambling. I just need to get these thoughts out. Glad I'm not being graded :D ) I know she will be okay at school. I was talking to someone recently and I told them I think as a homeschooler I have a different relationship with Hope. I was sad when Autumn and Dawn went to college. I cried at their graduations and when we left them at college but having homeschooled Hope, I think it is a different dynamic. While I am her mother, we are also friends. I wasn't so much friends with Autumn and Dawn. (Thankfully I am friends with them now :) ) I know that we can still be friends, even better friends but ..... maybe I'm rambling because I don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words. I'm so glad to know that I belong to a God who is so much bigger than me or my emotions and I know He will provide all I need to not just endure this year but to get through it and bring Him glory at the same time. Which sort of leads to the next subject....

Resolutions, so many people make them... and break them. I like the term goals instead. A goal is something you reach for, work toward and hopefully reach. A goal can't be broken, if you falter, you haven't failed, you pick up and keep going, picking up where you left off. I read on a blog (sorry, I don't remember which one) that the blogger was going to set 5 goals per month. I think that is a good idea. I'm going to set one big goal and that is to set 5 goals per month each month this year. I hope to post them here around the first of each month. Any of my (2?) readers are welcome to ask me how I'm doing... sort of an accountability thing. My goals for January are: 1) Read at least a portion of scripture every day, even Sunday(for me it is easy to say "I went to church, I don't need to read on my own")

2) Ride the stationary bike or walk 15 minutes a day 5 days a week(this is based on my health, meaning, if I don't start coughing again)

3) Track my food intake in my food journal daily

4) Make the robe I've had fabric for for over a year

5) Read A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

So there you have them. I need to list them and post them some where in my house so I don't forget I'm working toward them. This is really the first time I've done something like this, I'm a bit excited and a little apprehensive.

One more thing. I was reading in Luke the other day, the story of the 1o lepers that Jesus healed. Only one came back to express thanks and he was a samaritan. At the end of the exchange Jesus says "your faith has made you well." I had a couple thoughts/questions. 1) Did the other lepers remain healed? 2)Is there a connection between gratitude and faith? Does thankfulness to God express faith in God. I know that we are (should be) grateful to the Lord for all He has done, the faith He has given us, the call He has made on our lives, etc. I just find it interesting that it is after the samaritan expresses gratitude for his healing that Jesus tells him that his faith has made him well. Any thoughts?

Well, if you have made it this far.... thanks for reading. I really would like your thoughts, if you care to share them :)

Just Blogging

2010-12-02T18:42:00.000-08:00

So it has already been a week (or more) since I blogged. Sometimes I think of things to blog but it seems so small that is doesn't seem worth it. I wonder if it is. I'm wondering what part blogging should have in my life, if any part. Is what I think or have to say that important? What is the point of blogging? To get readers? To see who cares about what you say? I love reading other peoples blogs, why is that? Are we all just so interested in what is going on in others lives that we read, essentially, their journal, not that people put things on their blogs that they would put in a person journal.... I hope not any way.

Any way, here are some things I'm thinking about:

On Thanksgiving we alway go to Texarkana to be with Richard's family. Some years I look forward to it and other years not so much. This year was a not so much year, mostly due to being sick for so long and fatigued. So we went and it rained harder than I have ever seen it rain. It was while we were driving between Alexander and Malvern. I was so afraid. You literally couldn't see 1/8 of a mile in front of you, it was worse if the person in front of you didn't have their lights on. In my mind I was complaining to God and wanting to tell Richard to take me home. We went to Texarkana and had a nice day and came home a little early, for which I was thankful :) The next night I was on the computer but listening to the news. They had a report about a house fire in Pulaski County, for some reason I looked at the TV and realized they were talking about another homeschool family. I couldn't believe it. As I thought about it later, it made me grateful that the rain had come and had come in buckets...the family lost everything but they all survived, with no injuries, but I wondered if it hadn't rained so much or so hard, would the house have burned faster? I won't know and don't need to, but it sure changed my perspective about the rain.

Another subject: As of today I have been coughing for 59 days. I have been to the doctor several times, had blood drawn, x-rays, chest CT, on multiple meds.... not getting any better. Next Wednesday I'm having a bronchoscopy done so the doctor can look in my airways and take some samples to see if they can figure out what is wrong. I'm hoping they do figure out what is wrong and that it is treatable. This cough is very taxing and causes fatigue and shortness of breath. Being worn out is sort of putting a cramp in my life.... I'm usually finished shopping for Christmas by now and have everything wrapped. I'm not done shopping and have only wrapped 2 presents. Part of me doesn't care, because I'm so tired but another part of me wants to quickly get it done so I can rest. I've also discovered that physical fatigue can cause mental fatigue too, sort of weird. I know that it is possible that what ever this is might be something I have to live with. I've been praying that if that is the case that the Lord will show me how I'm supposed to live my "new normal" for His glory. It will be hard... at least this side of the grace I will need it seems hard. Just making my bed makes me cough. I don't get a lot done each day, but I am trying to do a few things each day, with rests in between. I want Him to get glory, no matter what happens.

November 24

2010-11-24T13:44:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for the Lord caring about the little things. I had to have a chest CT done today. It was supposed to be with contrast, that means an IV... yuck. I got there and was told that I didn't have to have contrast because insurance wouldn't pay for two CTs in one day. Yay!!!! That doesn't mean I got out of it all together but for today I did and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful that I was able to get a cd copy of the exam so my hubby can look at it when he gets home and I won't have to wait until next week to know the results :) God is so good, isn't He :)

November 23

2010-11-23T08:26:00.001-08:00

Today I'm thankful that even when I don't feel like being thankful, I have so much to be thankful for. God chose me, Jesus died for me, I'm adopted into God's family and made a joint heir with Jesus. The Holy Spirit is a seal, a deposit, a comforter. God has taken care of every need I have, spiritual and physical. So on days I don't feel emotionally up or I don't feel like being thankful, I have these (and this is just a few things) to cling to.

Oh. My. Word. Where did three days go??? November 22

2010-11-22T06:46:00.000-08:00

Wow!! I really can't tell you what I've been doing for the last three days. Maybe that is a sign I'm feeling better than I think. Let me think... Friday I did some shopping. I'm so thankful to have the energy to do some shopping and the money to shop with. I was at "our" new Target on University (I'm thankful for that, so we don't always have to run to West Little Rock). Okay, I'm starting to remember where the last three days went. Hope had play dress rehearsal on Friday and the first run of the play that night... I shopped a bit, between going between Little Rock and Maumelle.

Saturday: Second run of Hope's play and then two runs of the Cinderella play, which Hope was a stage manager, so I hung out in Maumelle/Summit church all day. I'm thankful for Hope's talent. My prayer is that the Lord uses her acting and singing for His glory, even if it is "just" singing to little ones or acting out bible stories to them. I put just in quotes because I think being a wife and mother is one of the most important roles a woman can have.

Sunday: Stayed home from church to take care of a sick hubby :( Poor guy! I'm thankful that I am well enough and have enough energy to care for him. I was able to go to the store and get the ingredients to make him one of his favorite meals.... chicken and rice :) I think that was the only time he smiled all day. It must have made him feel better... he went to work today. I'm thankful that he is such a diligent worker. I do hope he comes home early though, he still doesn't feel well.

Lastly, I'm thankful for my Lord. He is a loving and forgiving God. I know I've said before that I'm thankful for Him, but there is so much about Him to be thankful for.

November 19

2010-11-19T07:32:00.000-08:00

Oops, forgot to post yesterday. Yesterday, I was (and I still am) thankful for a doctor who has a plan to get me better and stop coughing. She was kind, understanding and down to earth. I like that. I'm very grateful for her.

Today, I'm just thankful to be a child of God. I know that I have not really even touched the surface of fully knowing Him and as long as I'm on this earth it will be that way. I think He keeps it that way because if we really knew Him while we lived on this earth we would all be overcome and die. I don't think these mortal minds can contain the full knowledge of God. I've heard some people say that even when we get to heaven we still won't know or comprehend Him completely. He is good.... Okay I could totally start listing His attributes but I won't, suffice to say I'm thankful that I am the Lord's child.

November 17

2010-11-17T18:16:00.000-08:00

It is raining. I'm home alone. It is peaceful. I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the sound of the rain on the roof. I'm thankful for the knowledge that this rain is very much needed and God is providing it. I'm thankful that it didn't really start raining until I was home for the day. There is even a bit of thunder and lightning. I praise God for that as well, because it testifies to His work in my life. I used to be so afraid of thunder and lightning. Now the only reason to not like it is it makes the dog agitated so he walks around growling. What a pleasant evening :)

November 16 thankfulness

2010-11-16T18:15:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for having a little kitchen redo :) I was able by my husband's generosity to get new counter-tops and cabinet doors and hardware. I think it is really pretty. I was going to post pictures but I can't figure out how. Any computer savvy people want to help me... I have a Mac and when I click on the "add picture" button, nothing happens. I'll post them on facebook, befores and afters.

November 15... I'm still thankful

2010-11-15T05:56:00.000-08:00

I've missed a couple of days but I'm still thankful. I'm thankful that I got the cabinets in the kitchen cleaned out on Saturday. That is part of the reason I missed blogging, I was cleaning and then I was exhausted. But it is done and ready for the new cabinet doors today, another thing I'm thankful for. Today we are having new cabinet doors put on in the kitchen. I'll take a picture and post it maybe tomorrow.

For yesterday's thanksgiving.... I'm thankful that 60 years ago yesterday my sweet husband was born. It seems weird to think he is 60 years old. He certainly doesn't look that old! Though I think I agree with Dawn, he looks better as he ages :) I love the color of his hair. God has been so good to me to give me such a loving and generous husband. It makes me soo glad that God is in control of my life and not me!

November 12

2010-11-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful that all parts of Hope's application to Master's arrived today so her application is complete. Now we wait. I'm thankful that she has chosen a completely biblically based college to go to. I'm thankful for a particular person who has encouraged me that Hope will be fine at Master's and that any area where I feel like she is weak will be taken care of there. This person is younger than I am but she is a great mentor and encourager :) I know that is because she walks with the Lord and is in His word, so she knows how to speak the truth in love. I'm very grateful for that.

November 11

2010-11-11T10:48:00.000-08:00

Today I want to express thanks for veterans, all those who have served and sacrificed for our freedoms. I know in my family, my grandfather (Edbaby) fought in World War II. I have and uncle (Kent) who fought in Vietnam. He may not have come back with physical injuries but the emotional things he suffered were incredible. I also have two nephews who are in the Navy. Then there are the men in my church who are literally serving in dangerous places right now. I'm so thankful to these men. BUT I am thankful for their families as well. My goodness, I'm sure we have NO idea what they endure, especially those whose husband/daddies are in the dangerous places. What a sacrifice those families are making for our freedoms. Thank you all so much!!! God bless you!!

November 10

2010-11-10T14:01:00.001-08:00

I'm thankful for the women in my life that challenge me to live a godly life. I don't want to name names because 1) I don't have permission from all of them 2) I don't want to leave anyone out and 3) I don't want anyone to be offended if they are not listed. Some of these women are younger than me! Some I know personally, some I just know from reading their blogs. These women convict me through their life, their writing or through their words to me. God is so kind and good to have these women in my life, using them to convict me and challenge me to be more like Christ. I pray the Lord honors these women for the way they live their lives before me and the world because they do bring glory to God through their lives... I think some of them don't even know it :)

November 9 today's thanks

2010-11-09T15:31:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful... so many things come to mind today.... butterflies, breathing(without coughing), Hope singing, sharing my excitement about seeing Wicked with Hope, knowing my comfy bed will welcome me at the end of this busy day, new pics of the Esparza grandchildren on facebook, knowing Erik is making a good recovery from pneumonia, Hope's college application(all parts of it) will be to Master's by Monday, Zaza's for dinner, being reminded once again of our loving, gracious, forgiving covenant keeping God.... there is just so much :) "could we (I) with ink the ocean fill, and where the skies of parchment made, were every stalk on earth a quill...."

November 8 thanks

2010-11-08T17:57:00.000-08:00

I'm so thankful for my husband!!! He is so loving and patient. His tender care of me, especially since I have been sick, is amazing. He doesn't complain that I can't take care of things the way I should or the way he or I would like me to. He doesn't complain that I don't have the energy to cook or if I do cook it is something really simple. He just thanks me for cooking dinner. He makes sure the humidifier is ready to go at bed time. Our humidifier has a bright orange light on it. When I turn on my left side to sleep it keeps me away, so I usually end up waking up in the middle of the night to cover it up with a towel. The other night I woke up and the light was already covered up. He had done it before he went to bed and after I was already asleep. I just put my head back down and smiled. What a thoughtful, loving, simple gesture that was. God has given me such a wonderful husband. I am so thankful for him. I hope he understands how thankful.

November 7 Sunday thanks

2010-11-07T16:10:00.000-08:00

I'm so thankful for my church. I'm not talking about the building, though by God's grace we do have a nice building. I'm talking about the people, our pastors, deacons and elders. I know the leadership in our church is not perfect, we are all sinners, but I know they work hard to do the best and seek the Lord to do His will in their lives and in the lives of our church body. I'm thankful that our pastors preach the Word, even the hard things, even the "politically incorrect" things. The Lord Jesus didn't worry about stepping on toes, if needed and our pastors don't either. Sometimes they step (or stomp, as the case maybe) on my toes or should I say my heart. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful church with great leadership.

November 6 double thanks

2010-11-06T15:45:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful for two things. Well, I'm really thankful for more than that but I'm going to talk about two today.

The first one is Ricola cough drop and throat drops. I have been coughing for a long time. Cough drops have become my fifth food group :) I can stand Hall's strawberry cough drops, in a pinch. Ricola cough drops stop my cough, they taste good and they have a variety of flavors. Yay for Ricola (no I have not been paid for this :D )

The second, and more important thing, well actually it is a person. It is my sister, Barb. Some years ago on November 6 she was born. She was my roommate from the time she was born until the day I got married. She is creative and always has been. She has a great laugh. She is so good about calling and keeping in touch. I wish we lived closer together but she loves Arizona and she is closer to her grandchildren (well, in December it will be all of them, right now it is just two of them) so I understand. I hope she has had a wonderful birthday. Barb, if you read this.... Happy Birthday! I love you.

Barb and her hubby, Gene

November 5 thanksgiving

2010-11-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful for the Lord's teaching, leading and conviction. I think conviction is a sign that we are His children. If we go through life without a care as to what the Lord cares or thinks about our life or how we are living then we need to take a second look as to whether we are in the faith. So, I'm thankful for conviction, even when it really hurts. I'm grateful for the Lord's leading and teaching too. I have been suffering with a horrid cough for about 6 weeks. In the last week or so I have had the thought that maybe this is the new normal for me. My prayer is that I will get better and stop coughing but I also thought about what if I don't get better? Will I be willing to accept this from the Lord's hand? It is a hard thing to think about since at this point, exercise is out of the question and singing is very hard. I want to be accepting of the Lord's will whatever it is.... even a lot of coughing and shortness of breath. I'm thankful for these thoughts because I know that it is through the power of the Holy Spirit that I can even think about accepting a new normal and this makes me thankful. It confirms to me that the Lord is really working and that makes me thankful.

November 4 being thankful

2010-11-04T18:34:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful for a particular part of Christ's body. The folks at Hope Bible Church in Maryland. This is the church where Dawn and Matt attend. We know several of the families that go there. We absolutely love them. We are on the same page spiritually. When Matt accepted the job he has we were concerned about them being sent to a place that might not have a spiritually ground church where they could be adequately fed. Oh how the Lord has answered our prayers above and beyond what we ever thought. This body of believers step up whenever they are needed, not just with Dawn and Matt but with all the people in the church. When a need is expressed, people are there to meet the need. For any of you HBC people who might happen to read this please know that I love you all and am so thankful to the Lord for your commitment to Him and to your being the hands and feet of our Lord to the Esparza family!!!

November 3 Thankful

2010-11-03T10:52:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful for the misty, moisty day. We have so needed the rain. I just love how everything looks fresh and clean. I love that it is cold and wet. It makes me in the mood for yummy things like Autumn soup or a big pot of chili with warm buttery cornbread.

I'm thankful that the rain and the freshness it brings reminds me of the cleansing I receive from the Lord. By the blood of Christ I have been cleansed, the dirt and grime of sin removed, so now when the Father looks at me He sees a nice, clean, fresh Kathie. That is something to be truly thankful for!

November 2 a day to be thankful

2010-11-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful to live in a country where we have the ability to vote and elect the people we want to govern us. A country where we can have Bibles, carry them in the open, talk about them. We can worship freely and openly. I'm glad I live where I live BUT I am sooo glad that this is not my home. I'm thankful the my real home is heaven where my Father lives. I know when the time is right He will call me home and for now He has blessed me with living in a free country. I'm so glad and I give thanks for that.

Taking a suggestion from a friend

2010-11-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

I have one friend who suggested that for the month of November to blog every day about something we are thankful for, it is the month of thanks. I have another friend who blogs her thanks and numbers them.... she does it off and on all year. I'm going to try for each day this month. I hope my few (any?) readers don't faint :D

I'm thankful for computers and the internet. I know a lot of people use them for evil but a lot of people use them for good. There are several blogs I read that the Lord uses to convict and correct me. Yes, I am thankful for that, painful as it is at times. A computer and the internet allow me to keep in close contact with my far away family. We chat, web cam, e-mail, exchange pictures. It would be so hard to not be so connected. Think how quickly Facebook allows prayer requests to get out, so we can pray for our brothers and sisters. This week I needed to seek advice from a trusted friend in a very far away place. I was able to do that through the computer and the internet. I need to remember, when I sit down at my computer, to thank the Lord. It was the Lord that gave men the knowledge to come up with what we have.... it is so easy to take it for granted. Are you thankful for computers and the internet? Have you thanked the right One for it?

How Can She be Thirty?

2010-07-02T06:06:00.000-07:00

Today is Autumn's birthday. She is thirty years old....today. Last night as the evening got late I began thinking about how the night went thirty years ago. I thought about my water breaking, thinking it was something else, then realizing what it was. I thought about the list I made of my contractions....they looked and felt consistent. I thought about getting to the hospital, how my mom beat me there, how the nurse told me my contractions were not consistent. They admitted me anyway. I remember getting sick....won't go into those details. I thought about my blood pressure getting high and the nurse giving me Demerol and telling me to imagine blowing a candle flame so it would gently flicker....how that worked to calm me. I thought about how quickly Autumn came. I thought about our moments together soon after she was born. Her father had gone home. We were in recovery. I remember looking at her and singing "Jesus love you" (same as Jesus love me). I remember praying for her. Funny, I wasn't a believer at that point, I thought I was, but I did earnestly pray for her.

Now, here we are thirty years later. Can it really have been thirty years. Truly it seems like it was just yesterday. The memories are so vivid. My child, my first girl, she is a woman....has been a woman for some time. It happened so fast. I am very proud of this woman. She has had struggles, hardship, heartache. She has not only survived those but has come out stronger. During those struggles, hardships and heartaches, I have continued to pray, but now I am a believer and I know who hears. I know He will answer in His time and for His glory. So, the question was asked, "how do you feel having a thirty year old child?" It feels grand. She is strong, loving, competent, beautiful (inside and out). She is a good wife, mother, daughter and nurse.

Autumn, I hope today is more than you hope for. I pray this next year is your best year yet. I hope you know how proud I am of you and how much I love you. momma

Stars and Enemy Ants

2010-03-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

Last night, as I took the dog out for a bathroom break, I looked to see if I could see the stars. I could...it seems that has been rare lately. We have lot of light pollution here so I can't see many stars. That makes me sad but I started thinking about the stars and how I love them. Then I started thinking about God's grace and the stars. When there is a lot of light we don't see a lot of stars...when life is going "well" we (I) tend to not see God's grace, though I know I don't take a breath without it. Hope will be spending a good part of her summer at Broken Arrow...not much light pollution there. Oh the stars she will see because it is darker...well, less light. As life grows dark (hard trials) we see more grace. The heavens truly declare His glory...don't they?

Enemy ants, you ask? Yes, for some reason little tiny ants have decided they like the sink in the master bathroom. It is a bit gross, but I have taken to just smashing them with my finger and rinsing them down the drain. (our pest control guy is working on ridding us of them, but they are stubborn) So this morning, Richard and I were talking and I realized that we are like those ants. Those ants are the enemy, as far as I am concerned. We were/are God's enemy. I smash the enemy with my finger, which God could do to me and be perfectly justified in it. But instead He reaches down picks up this little ant and loves it, feeds it, cares for it and provides all it needs so it never has to die...this ant that is His enemy, He makes part of His family. Another way God uses His creation (in my life anyway) to declare His glory and grace. What an incredible God we serve!!

Thoughts

2010-01-10T17:26:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about my blog a lot lately. I think of things to write but then wonder if it matters if I blog. Most of the time the things I think about to write are just short little things. I've wondered why people blog, why I blog, why I want to blog. Maybe I need to just get on here and ramble like I'm doing right now :)

I've been angry with myself. Three years ago I worked hard and lost a lot of weight. I was very diligent to follow weight watchers for nine months, then I went on a trip and ever since then I have watched that weight come back, even though I have still attended the meeting!!!! Just before the new year I got on the scale and had regained all but 8lbs of the weight I lost. I guess that was finally enough and I have returned to weight watchers...not just the meetings but actually doing the program...eating appropriately and exercising. Can I say I love our Wii!! So since Dec. 29 I've been "on program". If nothing else I'm feeling better emotionally, knowing I'm eating healthfully and exercising.

Next topic:

I started reading "365 day with John Newton". I'm using in for my evening devotion. The first four days were taken from a passage in 1 Chronicles, not sure exactly where and I don't want to get up to find out :) They also went along with the song "Amazing Grace". Some thoughts were, Who am I, not as in "I'm searching for myself, who am I?" but "who am I, that God would look at me, just some dirt." The more I think about it the more I'm amazed. I know I will never be able to wrap my mind around those thoughts... How could God, creator and sustainer of all things, love me, choose me.... Amazing Grace it is tooo amazing!

Other thoughts:

I can't believe Hope only has three semesters left of my schooling her. She is so much fun. I'm so grateful to God for her. She isn't perfect, none of us are, but she is a joy and I'm so glad God gave her to me(us) 16 years ago. Last night was homecoming and she looked so beautiful. I'll post pictures once I get them uploaded from the computer.

Well, I think I'm out of thoughts.... I'm going to strive to blog more often this year... we will see :)

Blankets and My Sweet Granddaughter

2009-08-01T15:48:00.000-07:00

The post is about a project I helped my friend Jennifer with. We made baby blankets for Craft Hope I was so happy to participate in this. One of the things that made this special for me was that the Lord led me to pray over each blanket for the child that will receive it. I pray that that child will understand, one day, the love of Christ and embrace the God of the Bible. Anyway, I was watching my grandchildren one of the days I was working on the blankets. Hailey was watching me and asked why I was making the blankets. I explained that there were babies in India whose mommy and daddy couldn't take care of them. Those babies were taken to a special place where there were people to care for them and give them these blankets. She then asked if she could help pin the blankets. I showed her how to pin. She then asked if she could pin one side of the next blanket. I then did a very unlike Kathie but very Nini thing....I let her :) The following picture is of her pinning job...and no I didn't re-do it before sewing. If you notice the pins start out (on the right) along the edge of the fabric but slowly progress away from the edge :) As we were finishing the pinning she said she was glad to be able to help the babies who had to go live at the "baby hotel" :: smile:: What sweetness!

If you go to the Craft Hope link you can see all the things made for the babies in the baby hotel.

Revelation at a Wedding

2009-06-07T05:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Beth and Paul got married. I don't know how many weddings I've been to where 1 Peter 3:1-6 has been sited and talked about. I'm quoting it here, just to refresh the memory.

"Likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands, so that even is some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of the hair and the putting on of gold jewlery or the clothes you wear-but let your adorning be the hidden person person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." This is taken from the ESV

I know that we are to always look at the context of a passage to help understand exactly what the passage means. I don't think I'm always very good about doing this. But yesterday as Todd was talking I realized that the part about not fearing is completely in relation to submitting to my husband. I do not need to fear submitting to him. Now my husband is pretty easy to submit to...when MY attitude is right. But there are times when I do fear a decision he makes, but I don't need to fear. God wants has a good plan for my life and my husband's decisions are apart of that. This doesn't mean I can't express my concern or give more information, if I have that but I do think it means that once the decision is made I need to trust the LORD that it is what He has planned for me. I find that quite freeing....now if I can just remember this and live it out. Blogging it is easy, living it, we will see :)

For my followers, all three of you...

2009-05-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

DON'T FAINT :)

Someone recently mentioned the fact that I haven't blogged in a while. That is very true. Part of it is because I use Facebook alot and part was because I didn't feel like I had anything worth writing. I have thought about it and have decided that I will use my blog, somewhat, as a spiritual journal. Just writing out thoughts, questions and/or insights as I read my Bible. Will I blog everyday? Probably not. Will it always make sense? Surely not. We will see what happens. Oh, this doesn't mean I won't ever blog about other stuff.

To start, just some thoughts I've jotted down over the last month or so.
Just as God restored literal sight to the blind, He restores spiritual sight to the spiritually blind. I know, duh! But just as I was typing that I was reminded of the man who was blind and Jesus made mud out of dirt and spit. After Jesus applied the mud He asked the man what he could see. The man said something along the lines of he could see men walking around like trees. That makes me ponder...why couldn't he see clearly? We know it wasn't lack of power on Jesus' part. Was it lack of faith on the part of the blind man? I was going to write more but I will stop there. Do you, my readers, have any ideas?

PS...to the freind who nudged (and maybe didn't realize she was nudging) thank you :)

Brain Test

2008-12-18T16:41:00.001-08:00

Autumn and Dawn did this. Their results made me curious so here are my results:

Your Brain Usage Profile:
Auditory : 53%

Visual : 46%

Left : 50%

Right : 50%

Kathie, your hemispheric dominance is equally divided between left and right brain, while you show a moderate preference for auditory versus visual learning, signs of a balanced and flexible person.

Your balance gives you the enviable capacity to be verbal and literate while retaining a certain "flair" and individuality. You are logical and compliant but only to a degree. You are organized without being compulsive, goal-directed without being driven, and a "thinking" individual without being excessively so.

The one problem you might have is that your learning might not be as efficient as you would like. At times you will work from the specific to the general, while at other times you'll work from the general to the specific. Sometimes you will be logical in your approach while at other times random. Since you cannot always control the choice, you may experience frustrations not normally felt by persons with a more defined and directed learning style.

You may also minimally experience conflicts associated with auditory processing. You will be systematic and sequential in your processing of information, you will most often focus on a single dimension of the problem or material, and you will be more reflective, i.e., "taking the data in" as opposed to "devouring" it.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself - and of others - while maintaining an "openness" which is redeeming. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity is not in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, the more obvious and the more functional.

I see myself in some areas. I read this to Richard and he agreed that it had me pegged some. Kind of fun and interesting.

More to be thankful for

2008-12-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

I should have counted the previous post as items of thankfulness :) but I will pick up where I left off.

90 great time of shopping with Hope recently
91 lots of laughter while shopping...really funny
92 a great buy on her homecoming dress
93 photographers who did a great job on our family pics
94 a sweet time of blessing my mom for her birthday
95 help for setting up beautiful table for a tea...even though the help was nearly 1100 miles away 96 getting Hope's dress done for the play
97 Brenda E getting us to reconnect
98 having an easy nursery duty last night (those two little girls are such sweet ones)
99 reading and being reminded the Lord is strong
100 and able to bind up the brokenhearted
101 and heals their sorrows
102 Torrie C's testimony of God's grace
103 knowing in heaven there won't be any division in the body
104 a little boy with blue eyes as big as saucers (that would be the littlest Egg...I love all those little ones!)
105 lunch at Larry's with family and friends

Black Friday Shopping

2008-12-02T10:45:00.000-08:00

So, I've never been shopping on black friday...that I can remember. I don't like driving in crowds or shopping in crowds but you will do things for your children that you wouldn't normally do. Hope wanted to go shopping and Richard had to work soooo we went shopping. It wasn't bad. I was surprised. Mom, Dad and Autumn joined us for a while. The worst, if you could call it that, was standing in line at Kohls for 15 or so minutes waiting to check out.

The best thing for the day happened at Belk. Hope and I were looking at the WillowTree figurines. I found one that someone had apparently dropped....the head had fallen off and was beside the figurine, hidden behind some boxes. I was curious and so I turned it over to find out the name of the piece. Are you ready for this? It was called "Good Health". It struck me funny and I showed it to Hope. We just sat there and giggled. A good memory :) I'm glad she convinced me to go shopping.

More thankfulness...I know I'm slow

2008-11-25T04:29:00.000-08:00

I read this this morning and was convicted at my lack (again) of thankfulness. So, here I am to continue my list.

72 Trips to Maryland

73 New sewing machines

74 Snow boots and snowsuits

75 Snow that comes but doesn't make the roads dangerous

76 Squirrels and birds out the back door

77 Little boys who pull of their mittens with their teeth

78 Being called Nini and Momma

79 Conversations with like minded people, even though we don't know each other very well, we still are on the same page.

80 The God-Man Cantata

81 VHS to DVD transfers

82Safety for R when he fell down the stairs

83 That it wasn't a little one who fell (R knows how to fall)

84Red noses from the cold

85 A call from a daughter just to tell me she loves me :) (I love you too!)

86 A new pattern to make a dress

87 The fear/joy of stretching my abilities

88 Friends who are happy that I'm home

89 Spending time with my husband each morning before he leaves for work

She is 15!!!!

2008-10-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

I realize I'm a bit late for this post since Hope turned 15 about 2 weeks ago but I was waiting for her party to be over before I posted. I guess I could have done 2 posts and made alot of people faint but be happy that I had posted twice :) For Hope's birthday this year we gave her a purity ring. We talked about the importance of physical purity but emphisised that without spiritual/heart purity, physical purity was useless if it was even possible. We let her pick her ring but we didn't give it to her until her birthday...Richard presented it to her. Here is a picture of it. I think she did a good job picking it out.

We had her party the first weekend of October....September is sooo full we decided to wait. We had a mystery party. You can find out about them here It is a great website with alot of different parties. I think it was around $30 and so worth it. The girls seemed to have alot of fun and I had a blast watching them play the game. They all stayed in character pretty well. The name of this party was "Once Upon a Murder" Each girl was a character from a fairy tale or nursery rhyme. Jack (Jacqui for our party) was found drowned in a pail of water and the girls were to read their clues and ask each other questions to figure out who killed Jacqui. Here are a few pictures.

Top row from the left: Johanna Horner, Beau Glancer, Tatianna Wolfe; Second row: Robin Arachnid, Cindy Ellis, Jill Waters; Bottom row: Scarlet getting ready to blow out candles, Scarlet Hood, A bunch of fun girls :) I hope they all had a good time. One mom said we need to do something like this for the moms. I think it would be a blast! Happy Birthday, Sweet Hope!!!

Our Celebration

2008-08-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

Richard and I went to Hot Springs for our anniversary. I was very excited to be away with just him and have time to focus on us. We stayed in a wonderful B and B called Lookout Point Lakeside Inn. I recommend it if you want a wonderful, relaxing time away but don't want to go far. We ate great food, explored Garvin Woodland Gardens (another recommendation!) and we spent half a day at a day spa. We had a hydrotherapy bath (really a whirlpool bath), a 50 minute massage, lunch, a facial, manicure and a pedicure. The guy that did Richard's facial asked what he uses to cleanse his face. When Richard answered "regular soap" (we use safegaurd) the guy said "you must have good genes". Then when Richard was getting his pedicure the girl doing the pedicure told him he had the softest feet. She asked him if he wanted a clear coat on his toenails...I vetoed that before Richard could even answer :D We had such a great time together. I'm so thankful to the Lord for bringing us together and for giving us the grace to grow together. I'm also thankful to those people the Lord has used in our lives to encourage us in our lives as husband and wife. Now here are a few photos of our time in Hot Springs.

Twenty Years Ago Today

2008-08-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

I received a great gift from the Lord. The Lord's grace is amazing.

Autumn Tagged Me

2008-07-09T04:51:00.000-07:00

Rules: You must answer the questions using only one word. Then tag four others.

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk

2. Your significant other? Richard

3. Your hair? Frustrating

4. Your mother? Friend

5. Your father? Artistic

6. Your favorite thing? photos

7. Your dream last night? None

8 Your favorite drink? Water

9. Your dream/goal? Godly

10. The room you’re in? Sun

11. Your hobby? computer

12. Your fear? flying

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home

14. What you’re not? sleepy

15. Muffins? Yum

16. One of your wish list items? laptop

17. Where you grew up? Arizona

18. The last thing you did? Answered

19. What are you wearing? PJs

20. Favorite gadget? Phone

21. Your pets? Dog

22. Your computer? Dell

23. Your mood? Excited

24. Missing someone? Hope

25. Your car? Sienna

26. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes

27. Favorite store? One?!?!?

28. Like someone? Yes

29. Your favorite color? Changes

30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Recently

I'm tagging: Kay, Krista, Kim, Holly

Needing to add to my thank yous

2008-06-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize how long it had been since I blogged. I guess sometimes time really gets away from me. I need to concentrate on being thankful today...not sure why but I woke up in a yucky mood. I even exercised (you know to get the endorphins going or whatever) I still feel grumpy. I don't like this, when I'm grumpy but there doesn't seem to be a reason. So thankfulness...

71) my pink flowers on the front deck

72) that Terri asked me to go to lunch with her :) Let's do it again!

73) I'm exercising consistantly again

74) I'm eating well again...both of these are just God's grace in my life, not my doing

75) Richard is letting Hope fly with Autumn to MD

76) Autumn is willing to go with Hope

77) Autumn and Hope are going to get Dawn and the Boys :D

78) I have the cutest grandchildren around

79) I have some of the most beautiful daughters I have ever seen (the Lord does great work)

80) My husband wants to do something special for our 20th wedding anniversary this year

81) We can afford to take the dog to the vet

82) We are going to Dallas for the Rebelution conference

83) I love my dining room (pic at the end)

84) Being available to watch my grandchildren

85) God answering prayers

86) Cool wind on a hot, humid day

87) New jounals

88) Knowing what I'm using for school next year

89) Friends that send you links to funny Youtube videos...it helped me laugh today

90) Laura, who loves Dawn so much she endured wind, rain, hail, cancelled trains, etc. just to spend time with her :) Thanks Laura!!

Picture of the dining room before:

Dining room pictures after:

A Thousand Thank-yous pt 5

2008-05-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

It has been a few days, hasn't it?! I had a migraine(sp?) for 3 days :P not fun so....
51)my headache is gone!!!
52)Dawn and the boys will be here in 25 days :)
53)I exercised today
54)We can afford to have the air conditioner fixed
55)The Lord is strong when I am weak
56)The Lord held the headache off until our Master's company had left
57)The four girls from Master's chorale who stayed with us...sweet girls
58)Hope is moving toward getting school finished for the summer
59)Decisions have been made about next years curriculum (sp? doesn't look right...still a little goofy from strong headache meds)
60)Sooo grateful for strong headache meds!!!
61)Richard decided to let Hope go with Aut to get Dawn and the boys :)
62)Autumn and Andy, who have been through some hard times, will celebrate 8 years as man and wife this weekend
63)Being able to minister and be ministered to by church family
64)Blogs with pics...gotta love 'em
65)Panera Bread is coming to Little RocK
66)Fresh Market...I just relax when I go in there
67)Getting to know neighbors
68)Autumn's encouragement to keep going on this
69)Free samples from the doctor
70)God's patience with me...I'm a slow learner

A Thousand Thank-yous pt 4

2008-05-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

We went to Texarkana on Saturday for our niece's baptism. I was a bit sad because from her "testimony" it seems she only made a profession of faith so she can see her dad in heaven one day. I hope that isn't the only reason. Before we left I prayed and asked the Lord to hold off the bad weather till we were home :) He said sure so that is where I start my thanks today.
41)God said okay, to holding the weather off till we got home on Saturday
42)Cloudy but not rainy travel weather (no glare from the sun)
43)Wildflowers growing in the median and the fields
44)The song "Fairest Lord Jesus" on the cd while we are passing the above fields giving me a great picture of what Jesus is fairer than (make sense?)
45)I'm finished painting the dining room (pics coming soon)
46)I love the color of my dining room
47)That no one was hurt when the top of my china hutch fell
48)That the stuff that did break is easily replaceable
49)That a long time ago Mom reminded me that is it just things (thanks Mom, I remember that often. It has saved me alot of heartache and protected my mouth from sin)
50)For various sweet family members who gave me Mother's day gifts(will post some pics there too)

A Thousand Thank-yous pt 3

2008-05-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

21)A husband that wants to help me overcome sinful habits
22)God's protection of at least (though I'm sure many more)one of His children in Myanmar
23)Friends who listen, understand and pray for us
24)Friends who have been where we are and are willing to help us through our time of difficulty
25)Getting to go to a Mother's day tea with my Mom, my daughter and my granddaughter
26)Hearing Judah help his mom sing "The Lord's Army" "yes, sir!!!!" :)
27)Getting the "kilz" part of the dining room finish (except for the little part where I discovered I was painting over VERY old wallpaper)
28)Music running through my mind
29)Living close to family
30)Hope Bible church in Columbia Maryland...They are Christ's hands and feet to Dawn and Matt
31)Ibuprophen
32)Hot showers
33)The girl at Home Depot last night...I can do it and she helped (custom paint color)
34)That I am a mom (children ARE a gift from the Lord)
35)My mom...one the greatest friends on earth
35)That two of my girls are moms (that means grandchildren...they are as great as everyone says)
36)For friends' blogs, they make me laugh, cry tears and cry out to God
37)For dandilions(sp?) They always make me think of Judah now :) (fower)
38)my new sliding glass doors
39)my husband's generosity, to me and others
40)50% off coupons

A Thousand Thank-yous pt 2

2008-05-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking, if I do ten thank-yous each time I post it will take 100 posts (easy math) Here are more:

11)Easy math (math is not my best subject)
12)My grocery store is done remodeling
13)The e-mails my sweet husband sends me (it is a sacrifice on his part, he doesn't like doing e-mail)
14)veggie burgers and baby carrots
15)Daily grace to make right decisions
16)Being confronted with sin(yes it hurts and is hard, but I am grateful)
17)Technology that allows me to stay connected, even daily, with far away people
18)Living in a place where the seasons change, pretty much when they should
19)The Lord's protection during all the recent severe weather
20Weight Watchers online e-tools (more technology)

A Thousand Thank-yous

2008-05-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine is posting one thousand things for which she is thankful. I thought/think it is a good exercise in gratitude, something I struggle with. I take so much for granted. I don't know how long this will take or even if I will finish (1000 is alot, but I have alot to be thankful for, right?) So here we go.

1)Being the first one up in the morning
2)The birds singing the "Dawn Chorus"
3)My salvation (should that be first?)
4)My husband caulking the dining room so I can paint tomorrow
5)The overwhelming smell of honeysuckle when I open my front door :)
6)Our homeschooling community
7)My Bible (all the copies I own)
8)Chocolate
9)Videos of Judah belly laughing
10)The way Noah says "bird", and similar sounding words

More later :)

Ch ch ch changes

2008-04-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day in the FitzRandolph household! We have been waiting for something to be removed and today it finally was...one person is especially relieved :)

A quote I must share

2008-03-28T07:45:00.001-07:00

Jerry Bridges is one of my favorite authors. In our ladies bible study this week there is a quote by Jerry Bridges that I have to share. The reason I have to share is the quote so applies to where I am right now. I think I have posted before that I have been struggling since September with my eating properly. I have been very frustrated with myself and making excuse after excuse. I have to say eating isn't the only area where I am struggling with sin so this quote applies to several areas, I'm just not sharing all of them :) Anyway, a few weeks ago I came to the conclusion that my problem with eating is a sin problem, not a lack of water, jounaling or getting enough fruits and veggies. Then this morning when I was doing my bible study (Thank you, Lord for the push to discipline myself this morning) I came across this quote:

Sin tends to cloud our reason, dull our consciences, stimulate our sinful desires, and weaken our wills...each sin we commit reinforces the habit of sinning and makes it easier to give into that temptation the next time we encounter it.

That is exactly what has happened to me. In September we went on a trip, things didn't go as planned so it was a bit (not impossible) hard to eat properly. As the week wore on I made more and more bad choices, thinking "oh this is okay, when I get home I'll get back on track" Little did I know I was falling for a lie. The lie that I can sin and get away with it. All I was doing was feeding (no pun intended, really) my old sinful habits...lack of self-control, bowing to the idol of pleasure (I really like food, the flavors, the feel of it in my mouth etc). These sins, as I have continued to give into them, have definately clouded my reasoning, dulled my conscience, stimulated sinful desires (not only for food but laziness, and others) and weakened my will to fight and not give in. It has reinforced the habit of sinning and has made it easier to give in to temptation. Is it any wonder God hates sin? Oh that I would hate it as much or even a smidgen as much as God hates it. If the Lord brings me to your mind would you pray for me...that I would hate my sin and that I would fight, remembering that the weapons of my warfare are not of the flesh but are divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses (2 corinthians 10:4) Thanks!

Easter pictures

2008-03-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, I left Hope in charge of the camera. She is taking a photagraphy class and she does have an eye for photography. I have pictures of Andrew(my great nephew?)and Hailey, my only granddaughter. I asked Hope about the lack of pics of the other kids and she said "the boys run so you can't get a picture of them and I was helping Hailey find eggs." So enjoy the pics I do have :)

Isn't he cute?!

And she is precious

I thought they were easy to find

a little of Camille in the background :)

Autumn is supposed to post some more pics so you can check her blog for more pics if you want.

HE IS RISEN!!!

2008-03-23T04:34:00.000-07:00

Praise the LORD for HIS indescribable sacrifice. What love,what mercy, what grace. To HIM be all glory, honor and majesty for HE alone is worthy. Praise HIM!!!!

It happens just about every year

2008-03-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

We get teased with a taste of spring. The daffodils bloom, the little tiny pink flowers that cover our yard spring up and the tulip magnolia shows her pink splendor. The days are warming up, the sky is a beautiful blue, since the humidity is still low then this happens: This would be the tulip magnolia covered in snow!!! I estimate we got around three inches today, though it has started snowing again even as I type. I'm not complaining really. I think the snow is so pretty and it seems to make the world quiet. This is the second time this week we have gotten snow. It was extra exciting this time because I had the Bruckman Grands with me. Can you guess what we did?? You guessed it we played in the snow or rather they and Hope played, I took photos. I may try to upload a video...Hope's camera takes video but with no sound so if it works it will be a silent movie. Just imagine, alot of laughter because that is what you would hear if the camera recorded sound. Enjoy the pics.

God Cares...

2008-02-22T09:56:00.001-08:00

about what a 14 year old wants to wear to a Father/Daughter banquet. There is a story behind this and I want to share it because it is an example of God's love and goodness to my daughter. I pray she will always remember that He loves her this much. Hope's plans for this winter/spring included a father/daughter banquet at our church in February then a homeschool spring banquet in April. The dress for the father/daughter banquet was "sunday dress to semi-formal". We purchased a dress that was a bit dressy but was easily wearable for Sunday church. It was a bit pricey. We then found a dress for spring banquet...we didn't buy it but were planning on taking Dad to get it approved before the purchase...also a bit pricey. In the mean time we discover that we will be out of town the weekend of spring banquet. So that dress is out of the picture (it was beautiful and was gorgeous on Hope). There is sadness. Then we found out that the f/d banquet could be formal. New visions of the formal dress! We discussed it with Dad and he (wisely) said that there was already a dress for f/d and that we didn't need to spend so much on another dress when Hope already had one. He was willing to let her get another dress and gave us a limit, which I thought was a very generous limit. So the hunt began...and it was a hunt :P We literally looked everywhere I could think of for a reasonably priced formal. I was wishing that University Mall hadn't closed down because they had a store that would probably fit the bill but....it was closed. (for Autumn and Dawn, remember Nouri?) Anyway, there was one more store, that I found in the phonebook. That morning before we went shopping I prayed and asked the Lord to provide Hope's hearts desire. We went and looked...nothing (we were not only looking for low cost but modest or easily made modest) We left the store and I was ready to tell her that she would just have to wear the dress we bought. I said,"Do you want to go to the new Penny's one more time?" She said "yes". So off we went. As we came to the new shopping center where Penny's was located, I saw THE sign....NOURI. I told Hope to look at the sign. She became very excited and said "go, go" Well to make a long story a little shorter. The Lord completely answered our prayer. She got her hearts desire(the dress) AND shoes AND earrings for $15 under the stated budget!!! How wonderful of our God to do such a thing. Oh, the store had only been open for 4 days! God cares about His children and their hearts desires. Here is a pic of the blessing dress :) and our beautiful Hope.

Journey part 2

2008-02-01T06:48:00.000-08:00

This is a journey that I know I must begin. It is one I want to do but it will take me out of my comfort zone.
1 Peter 4:9 says "show hospitality to one another without grumbling. Then again in Romans 12:13 "Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Yes, it is practicing hospitality. I love being around people, getting to know them and talking BUT I am so weird about it if they are coming to my house. The Lord has provided a nice home for us, so it isn't that. It is me...it is pride and fear of man. What will I talk about, will something burn, will I remember to make sure the tp is full? What if they don't like what I prepare, what if they get bored or we run out of things to talk about? What if my nervousness comes across and they begin to be uncomfortable because of my paranoia? Maybe silly questions but that is where I am. This has been something on my heart for over a year. Now, don't get me wrong, having family over? no problem, having close friends over? no problem. I don't feel the need to impress them. If they need tp they will ask or find it themselves. This is an area I need to grow in and I really think God in His love is going to teach me :) Here is why: the other day my sis-in-law, Melissa called and said there was a homeschooling family from Harrison down here in Little Rock. They had a family memeber in the hospital and there was another family member who needed a place to stay the night. AAAHHH All the verses about practicing hospitality and entertaining strangers came to mind. "Let me call Richard and double check with him." Of course he said yes. So I spent the day worrying about this person coming to my house. Would I make her comfortable especially considering what was going on in her life? I hope I did make her comfortable. We had a nice little visit. All this to say: God is good. He teaches His children what they need when they need it and takes them out of their comfort zone to teach them. I need to get out of the comfort zone and start practicing hospitality. So if you think about it will you pray for me? Thanks :D

Journey part 1

2008-01-28T04:27:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about this post for a while. A friend told me I needed to update my blog and I thought "I don't really have anything to blog about." Well, I suppose that isn't really true. I have literally prayed about this post and there are three things that the Lord has laid on my heart to share.

The first is a journey that I started a little over a year ago. People who know me know that I have struggled with being overweight for a looonnnggg time. I literally have been up and down the scale for the last 27 years...mostly up. Around Christmas of 2006 I began to really worry about my health. My dad had been diagnosed with diabetes. His grandmother had had it it and I knew it was hereditary. I remember just eating and eating that year. I would lay in bed at night and wonder if I was going to die. My heart would just pound, even as I would lay in bed (for all you English whizzes, I'm not sure that is correct grammar...please correct me if I'm wrong) I began to realize I had to do something to get healthy. I began to pray about it. I had tried so many different diets and failed at them all. I would go over and over in my mind about the advantages of this or that diet and then the disadvantages and of course the fact that I had done it before and failed. I was very discouraged. I talked to a good friend about it and she (I believed this was God's guidance) encouraged me to try Weight Watchers. I had done WW about 20 years ago and failed at that too. But, she had recently been successful and she showed me how the program worked now...different from when I had done it last. Well, January 17, 2007 I joined Weight Watchers. I didn't have my picture taken often before, this picture is from May of 2007. I may have been bigger by December, I honestly don't know.

So I started WW. The Lord has been sooo good to me on this journey. First, the leader of the meeting I went to couldn't have been more perfect. We are similar in age, height, goal weight and starting weight. She has kept her weight off for 5 or 6years now. What a great encouragement and incentive. Plus she is very motivating, down to earth and honest about loosing weight and keeping it off. Second, He gave me self-control I didn't know I had. I was, and am still amazed at the choices I make...it is not my nature to choose a piece of fruit over a piece of candy but I do it and am learning to do it more and more. Next is the amount of exercise I have done in the past year...amazing. I have probably exercised more this last year than I have my whole life :D By the time July rolled around I was down 59 lbs...please hear me, this is all of the LORD and the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. I went to California to be there to help Dawn and Matt during Elijah's birth and first week or so of life (precious time!!) I was shocked that Dawn didn't recognize me. I didn't/don't see the difference...it is weird. (oh, a side note, another wonder the Lord performed was me flying alone to California and back...Amazing...Thank you, Lord!!!) Anyway, in September we (my parents, Richard and me...um, English whizzes again forgive me if I'm wrong in my grammar :) )went to Maryland to help Dawn and Matt settle into their new home. This became my bump in the road. I'm not sure what happened but I really began to struggle with my self-control and eating properly, for my health. Another friend recently asked me if I thought being comfortable with your clothes and where you are could be a problem...I think she may be right. So from September until this day, I have been struggling. I should mention I also injured myself exercising and had to stop for quite a while. So, what has happened since September? God has continued to be good to me. I have days where I am walking in obedience to Him in this area and days where I am not. Some days I literally, in my mind, tell Him I don't want to eat a banana instead of chocolate (this may sound funny, the way it is written, but it isn't, it is sin to go against what you know is right (Romans 14:23 and James 4:17) ) So how does this show God's goodness to me? I haven't stopped the struggle! I haven't given up. Even on weeks when I knew I had not done well and I was going to have a gain on the scale...I went anyway. I tell you that is of the Lord!!! I would have given up along time ago. So I walk and fall, get up and walk some more. My ability to get up and walk some more comes from my loving, gentle, merciful heavenly Father. I still have a way to go before I get to a weight that I think is appropriate for me but the walk of this particular journey will not end until I am home in heaven with the Lord. I want to leave you with two things one a picture of what happens when the Lord, by His spirit, enables you to obey and two, more importantly, I hope this encourages you to walk in obedience to what you know is right, even if you fall over and over (there are days when I am stumbling over myself all day)keep getting up and walking in His strength and power.

Our Christmas Day

2007-12-26T13:18:00.000-08:00

What a day we had!! Food, Family and Fun. We started the day with just the Esparzas and the FitzRandolphs. We opened presents then had a breakfast birthday party for Jesus. We forgot to take pictures of breakfast...I guess we didn't have enough coffee in us to be that functional yet :D Then it was time to get dressed and start cooking...oh, the turkey got into the oven late but it was probably a good thing; it was ready pretty much on time...I think. People started arriving and setting up the tables and chairs for dinner. Thank you to everyone who helped. Christmas for us couldn't happen unless there is alot of help. I'll start the pics.

Opening presents Esparzas and FitzRandolphs:

We don't have pictures of the cooking (read full kitchen) but we do have pics of dinner...the adult table anyway

We actually had a table for little kids, a table for the big kids and then a table for the food. There were 20 adults and 19 kids. We had some special guests, friends of my Dad. They are very nice and I was so glad to have them join us.

Jag

Geeta

After dinner the tables come down and we open presents...oh my word, may I say chaos??? It is a fun time though, a good lesson in patience because we start with the youngest and go up to the oldest. This year we did do something we haven't done before (a suggestion of my Dad's which I hope we continue) we sang carols together as a family. Andy played the guitar. The next time Dawn and Matt are here it will be Andy and Matt playing together, right Matt?? :)

Jag and Geeta's little girl opening her gift

Mom and Dad made stilts for all little boys. Here are others trying them out...

...including Brad, I just happen to catch him at a bad moment. He really is quite good at them :)

Toward the evening, after some people had left, we played games. I made a mistake while reading something and we all laughed so hard. Some of us harder than others...I think we were a bit punchy by that point. It was so fun. Autumn is the one to encourage playing games...I'm so glad she does that. I love playing games but don't think about it. Thanks Aut.

And last but not least a picture of Papa and Elijah. I think we all felt this way at the end of the day. I love this picture!!

I hope all of you had a wonderful, God glorifying day, full of happy memories. I did, I think I agree with Erik...It was the best Christmas ever :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2007-12-25T04:12:00.000-08:00

I pray for each of my readers that they would remember why we celebrate today. The food, family, decorations, presents and all that go along with this celebration are fun and exciting. If it were not for the birth of Jesus the Messiah we would not have a reason to celebrate. If you know Him praise Him for His glorious gift and sacrifice...even leaving His Father to take on flesh was a sacrifice without even mentioning His ultimate gift, the giving of His life for you. If you don't know Him or have a personal relationship with Him...seek Him, find Him and trust Him with your life. He is worthy!!!

Jesus-I thank you for coming to this sinful and sin-full world. I thank you for living a sinless life, for perfectly keeping the law that I can't keep. I thank you for then giving your life for mine, so your Father would adopt me into your family. You are amazing. I praise you!

Some people will do anything to get their Mom to post :D

2007-12-13T20:21:00.000-08:00

my hair is: auburn with some dark brown and gray roots (time to go see Glynn)a bit longer than shoulder length, layered and wavy/frizzie
my nails are: are in need of a manicure, but I tore one today really short...ouch
my clothes are: pink and black jersey pjs :)
my mood is: bored and a bit depressed
my spirit is: calm
my big To Do is: finish christmas shopping and grocery shopping
my fitness level is: better than it has been in many years
my worst habit is: avoiding what I know I need to do(copying Aut...maybe she learned from me...sorry Aut)
my house looks: okay, glad we aren't having company anytime soon (I will vaccuum tomorrow though)
my marriage is: at a point of growth
my car is: a salsa red 2005 toyota sienna...I love it
my children are: a great blessing to me, I love having all of them in AR even for a short time
my local weather is: cold
my dream destination is: heaven

Aut, Thanks for the idea and encouragement to blog...I need that!

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T04:14:00.000-08:00

My heart is so full this day. It should be everyday, I know. I confess it I don't take the time, like I have recently, to look at the blessings in my life and be thankful. In last Sunday's sermon I heard (though I knew...reminders are very good)that "unthankfulness is characteristic of unbelief." (thank you, Pat!) I don't want unthankfulness in my life. I want to remember everyday to be thankful. If I were to put my mind to it I would never run out of things to be thankful for, none of us would. Here are the words to a song that express my heart today and I hope everyday. You can hear a small portion of the song here (remember I don't know how to do links, sorry) http://www.gettydirect.com/lyrics.asp?id=31 (btw, I really recommend this couples music)

"My Heart Is Filled with Thankfulness"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2003 Thankyou Music

My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who bore my pain;
Who plumbed the depths of my disgrace
And gave me life again;
Who crushed my curse of sinfulness
And clothed me in His light
And wrote His law of righteousness
With pow'r upon my heart.

My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who walks beside;
Who floods my weaknesses with strength
And causes fears to fly;
Whose ev'ry promise is enough
For ev'ry step I take,
Sustaining me with arms of love
And crowning me with grace.

My heart is filled with thankfulness
To him who reigns above,
Whose wisdom is my perfect peace,
Whose ev'ry thought is love.
For ev'ry day I have on earth
Is given by the King;
So I will give my life, my all,
To love and follow him.

I pray your Thanksgiving is truly that...a day of giving thanks, especially to the One who deserves all praise and thanks.

You must see these

2007-11-17T04:59:00.000-08:00

Then you must go to Autumn and Dawn's blogs ( spanishmorning.blogspot.com and sweethephzibah.blogspot.com ) (sorry don't know how to do the linking thing) and tell them how adorable their children are. I'm sorry I don't have any recent pictures of Erik and Hailey but they are adorable too :)

The Sovereignty of God!!!

2007-10-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

I found this picture on foxnews.com It is an absolute picture of God's sovereignty. I know tornados are apt to skip houses, but fires??? I pray those people realize that is was the Lord that saved their home. So look and be awed by the Lord of all.

How did you spend your week?

2007-10-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

I spent mine in the hospital with Hope. She had been sick for the week before with a "virus". We returned to the doctor a week after our first visit and were sent on the be admitted to the hospital with a pretty bad pneumonia. We were there from Monday evening until Friday afternoon. The staff were wonderful, the food and surroundings not so great. Hope actually did not eat one meal at the hospital. She would wait until someone from the "outside" would bring food. She still has pneumonia and will have IV antibiotics at home for another 24 hours or so, then go on oral anitbiotics for another 5 days. Hopefully that will clear it up. Here are some pictures from our adventure.

Home again

2007-08-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

I am back in Arkansas. God graciously said yes to all my prayers for travel and my time in California. He provided peace the whole time prior to flying. I even slept soundly the night before, that has never happened before. The flights from Little Rock to San Jose were very smooth. I did get a little lost in the DFW airport only because I misunderstood where my next gate was. Let me tell you there is no Gate C34 at DFW :) I had plenty of time to get to the correct gate, grab a cup of coffee and call my mom and Richard to let them know I was in Dallas. From DFW to San Jose, I had prayed for a good seatmate. I sat next to a sweet girl (well, young woman) who was on her way back to CA. She had just moved there 2 weeks before and had been home to visit family and "walk the platform" to get her Master's degree in physical therapy. We literally talked for 3 hours. She comes from a christian background (a preacher's daughter) Some things happened in their family that left a really bad taste in her mouth for all things christian. We talked about the sovereignty of God and how he is in control of the bad things and they happen for a reason. Another great thing about sitting next to her was God used her not only to help me concentrate on something other than myself and flying but He also used her to prepare me for Dawn's reaction to my new self. I haven't blogged about it but I have lost alot of weight since January. B (my seatmate) told me that her dad had lost a lot of weight from one time she saw him to the next. She thought he was sick and she was concerned for him. Dawn knew I was losing weight but she was still overwhelmed. She cried. She said she wouldn't have recognized me...I have changed alot and she hasn't seen me like this in over 19 years.

My time in California was precious to me. Getting to know Judah, playing with him was all sweet times for me. I haven't laughed so much in I don't know how long. Matt is very funny and makes it easy to laugh and we seem to think the same things are funny. I am so grateful to the Lord for allowing me the time to be with them and giving me a husband who was/is willing to sacrifice for his family that way. Twelve days is a long time for a couple to be apart. (Autumn knows all about that, multiplied!)

My flights home were just as smooth at the ones out. I know most people aren't liking the really hot weather but it does make for smooth flying :) I got to see a lady lose it at the Dallas airport and security had to be called...interesting but sad.

I miss Judah and Elijah (Dawn and Matt too). For some reason though, I can't figure out why, I just cry when I think of Elijah's sweet face, smell, and the feel of his head when I kiss him. I absolutely fell in love with that tiny guy. I'm sure glad I don't have to wait to long to see them all again. We are helping them move into their new apartment in MD in September. How many days, Matt??? I leave you with this, enjoy :)

And this :) I couldn't resist. Big brother/Little brother

The Esparza Grands

2007-08-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

I am in California helping Dawn and Matt. Sweet baby Elijah arrived Tuesday, July 31 at 9:38 am. He weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz and was 20 inches long. Dawn is doing really well. She and Elijah will come home tomorrow. I should say Matt is doing well too as is Judah. Judah did seem to have somewhat of a melt down late this afternoon but he is teething and did have a bit of a fever on top of all that is going on in his life. Here are a few pics. Some are different than Dawn's blog some are not. Enjoy :)

Just a few hours old

Sweet family time

My happy Judah-man

Not the most flattering picture but his eyes are open :)

Elijah is so sweet. He has such a kissable head. His little mouth is just so tiny and well...sweet. You just want to kiss him. I will say though when it is time to eat you wonder how anything so small could scream the way he does. He has very strong lungs :D Today Judah touched Elijah without prompting for the first time. Elijah's toes were sticking out the blanket and I showed Judah. He very carefully touched E's little toe with his finger. It was very cute and would have made a great black and white photo...if a Nini had had her camera ready. I hope you all enjoy the pics. I know there will be more to come.

The Bruckman Grands

2007-06-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

I have been able to spend quite a bit of time with Autumn, Erik, Hailey and Noah. Some special time with Noah when he was in the hospital. He got some sort of virus and became pretty dehydrated due to a high fever. He was a good little trooper in the hospital...so was Autumn :) Nothing like having your husband go out of town, then have a child go into the hospital all while you are needing to be getting ready to start nursing school. She is a better woman than I am. Here are a few pictures.

Yesterday we were at the pool. I shouldn't be in the sun so much but it is impossilbe to resist Noah when he says, "Nini I want you in the water!" It is in a cute voice. The BGs are getting so tan!!! I call them my brown babies. Yesterday BJ said that Noah looks chocolate compared to her :) Here are pictures of our fun yesterday.

Hanging out with my grandkids...

2007-04-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

gives me good/funny things to post about. Andy and the kids came over for dinner tonight (Aut had met a friend from High School for dinner) We had chicken. Erik ate one and a half chicken breasts (shock) Later Erik, Hope and I were having a conversation about how much Erik had eaten at dinner...

Me: "Erik ate one and a half chicken breasts at dinner."

Erik: "Are those woman chicken b**bs?"

Sometimes it is really hard not to just crack up. I explained that it was different because they are chickens and not people. We had a good time. If you are interesting in the chicken it is Cranberry Chicken posted at Savary Sensations, link on the side under "links".

March Madness part 2

2007-04-07T06:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, to continue...After the Seventeen mile drive day we mostly relaxed, cooked together, enjoyed one anothers company and Dawn and I did some shopping :) Friday, Dawn made the cupcake cones and birthday boy cake. I have never made cupcake cones so I was curious how they worked. I imagined trying to stuff the edges of the cupcake papers under the lip of the cones, which in my mind would make a huge mess and wouldn't be worth it. But you don't do that you just set the cone on top of the cupcake paper filled with batter. Dawn was up very late making these. When she was finished she covered them with plastic wrap to protect them...we didn't think about it or know what would happen, but that wasn't the best idea:

The cones became quite soft and some of them bent over. It was quite funny. So we frosted them and then Dawn wrote the words on some of the cupcakes. You know the words "Happy 1st B-day" then the birthday boys name. Now Judah has been around for a year now and I know Dawn reads her Old Testement but this is what she wrote:
Again, it was quite funny. The "Y", in Juday, came off easily and she wrote an "H" in its place, but we (I) forgot to take a picture of the corrected
birthday "cake"! There was quite the spread for the party. We had little PBJ sandwiches, little pigs in a blanket (may I say, YUUUUMMMM),baby goldfish, pretzels(I think) cupcake cones, and punch. Oh, the punch is another story. We got the bright idea (I think it was Hope's) to get Sprite and put tropical punch Kool-aid in it. No one thought about the fact that if you put a packet of Kool-aid into a FULL bottle of Sprite that spewing type things may happen. Yes, the Sprite bubbled up and spewed. Sorry, no pictures of that one :) Matt had the brilliant idea of pouring half a bottle of Sprite into something else then adding the Kool-aid. He is sooo smart. The punch was good.

The party was at a park close to Dawn and Matt's apartment. It was a beautiful day(Thank you, Lord, for answering our prayers). As we reached the park we realized that both picnic tables were occupied. Yes, I said both. I couldn't/can't believe this park only has two picnic tables, but I digress. One table was occupied with just stuff, not people. So Dawn found the people who owned the stuff and asked them if we could use the table for the party. They graciously said yes and moved thier stuff.
So we set up. Doesnt' it look great:
Quite a few people came, including some of Dawn and Matt's neighbors. It was nice to see and meet the people Dawn and Matt have become friends with in California. (For those friends who might read my blog, thank you for loving Dawn and Matt while they have been there).
Soon it was time for cake. The tradition of letting the 1 year old dive into the individual cake. It is always much anticipated. The excitement builds and Judah....well he wasn't to much into this idea. Dawn actually had to mash his hands into the cake. This was all that he did to his cake. Actually that is what Dawn helped him do. After she mashed his hands in the cake he didn't attempt to eat it or touch it again. You can click on it to get a better idea of what he didn't do.

Okay...it has been so long since I started this post, I have forgotten what else I was going to say. Suffice to say we had a great time!! I need to post more often don't I. Now on to the rest of life...I will try to get up some posts on what we did in April and May but next will be a post of yesterday at the pool with the Bruckman Grands :)

Kids say the darndest things :)

2007-04-03T07:29:00.000-07:00

My sweet granddaughter Hailey...she makes me smile. There are a couple of people who blog the funny things their children say. I really enjoy reading those posts. Today I have a post of a funny thing Hailey said. I have some skin tags on my neck, quite a few actually. Hailey has often asked me about them. Saturday the children were here and once again Hailey noticed the skin tags, here is the conversation:

Hailey: What are those? (she is touching them)
Me: They are skin tags.
Hailey: They look like worms.

I'm smiling thinking about it. Autumn was standing there, I wonder if it was one of those "why does my child say things" momments. (I was not offended) I will say the skin tags are coming off though. I have thought about it for a long time, partly b/c Richard doesn't like them so much...neither do I for that matter, or the way they are removed. I just can't have "worms" growing out of my neck though!! :D

March Madness Part 1

2007-03-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

No I'm not talking about basketball :) I'm talking about the FitzRandolph's March Madness. It began March 3rd. Hope attended her first homeschool spring banquet. She looked so pretty in her bubble gum pink dress.
She had a great time. They had the students make 5 minute "movies" and had a film festival. She and a couple of friends did a newscast. It sounds like they had fun making it. They didn't win but Hope said the group that did win deserved it.

Early on March 4th found us boarding a plane for a flight to California. Judah turned 1. My sweet husband blessed me, at Christmas, with a trip to California to celebrate with the birthday boy. Here is a pic of Hope as she waited for us to get our rental car in San Jose...does she look like she is used to traveling or what?
We had a good time visiting Dawn and Matt. Poor Richard had to work on a lecture almost constantly while we were there but he did take some time for fun. One glorious day we went on the "Seventeen Mile Drive". You pay $9 per car and drive around the Pebble Beach area. The houses are amazing but the shoreline is....well, it is God made therefore it is just incredible. Let me share the view with you!
This is a picture of a place where the waves go in three different directions. I think it was call "The Restless Sea". This picture is of a place called "Huckleberry Hill". Alot of the bushes were covered with small purple flowers, I assume they ripen into huckleberries. This picture is of the first beach we stopped at. I love the water, the sound and smell of the ocean. I could have stayed there all day except..... it was stinkin' cold and windy!!! As we traveled around "the drive" we came to "Bird Rock". There are birds all over that rock. The are quite big birds too. We also were visited by some little squirrels. They were fearless. Obviously they are quite used to people and being fed by them. Click on this pic of Dawn and Judah...you can see Dawn's smile. I think she liked that the squirrel came to visit them. We continued on our drive and came to the Pebble Beach Golf Club icon. It is this tree. I didn't know they had an icon until Dawn told me. We also saw some wild life, other than birds and squirrels...Sea otters and Seals
Here are a few other pictures that I don't think need explanation. Coming soon parts 2,3,4...not sure how many...it has been a mad, crazy month :)

Jumping on the quiz band wagon

2007-02-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

How well do you know me?

Take my quiz!

Take This Quiz | See Scores | Make Own Quiz

Lightbulb moments

2007-02-04T13:43:00.000-08:00

If you read this blog you know that I have a tremendous fear of flying and I have to do it a couple of times every year. Well, a couple of weeks ago it was time to make plane reservations. These were happy reservations. We are going to California to visit our daughter, son-in-love and grandson. Happp times, right? Well, I confess I waited 3 days to make the reservations thinking, "maybe something will happen and we won't be able to go." The possibility was there, homeschool testing is during that time. After 3 days I realized that I was letting my fear of flying keep me from making the reservations...that is called sin. After wrestling with my heart for a few minutes I got on the computer and made the reservations, with pounding heart and sweaty palms. Second part of the story....I go to a ladies bible study at our church on Wednesday nights. We are studying Jerry Bridges book "The Practice of Godliness". (making plane reservations isn't necessarily practicing godliness). In the study you have to look up verses(duh) I was reading Psalm 103, which I have done many times in the twenty years I have walked with the Lord, but it was as if I was reading ver 10 for the first time in my life(hence the title of this post).

"He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities."

I was undone. I was in my van. I was crying. As I read those verses I realized the simplicity of that verse. Then I realized that my fear of flying (see it does tie back) is based on a low view of God. I expect Him to use a plane crash, my survival and all of the pain and suffering that results as a form of punishing me for not being the "good christian" I'm suppose to be. God doesn't punish me form not living up to His standard. Jesus took all the punishment I deserved. This has been amazingly freeing. God in His goodness has taken away the fear. This happened a week or so ago and I haven't been afraid since then. I am so grateful. Truely there are no words to express my graditude to my Lord for this release. He is good all the time and He will be good no matter what happens on that plane...though I don't expect anything to happen :) Please praise the Father with me!!!!

Lovin' my blog

2006-12-30T19:54:00.000-08:00

A - Available or single: Neither - I'm married. I thought single meant available?(left Gina's answer, it was a good one :)
B - Best friend: Besides my husband, hmm, that is a hard one...my mom or Kay or Jennifer or...
C - Cake or pie: can I have my cake and pie too??
D - Drink of choice: Coffee in the morning, tea or water in the evening, when out to dinner with my hubby for special occasions a glass of white zin.
E - Essential item you use everyday: Deodorant
F - Favorite color: Pink, Red or Purple
G - Gummy bears or worms: Bears
H - Hometown: Hometown as in now? Central AR. Where I grew up? Southern AZ
I- Indulgence: Spending to much time on the Computer
J - January or February: February...Valentine's Day and some flowers start to bloom
K - Kids & names: Three - Autumn Lea, Dawn Marie and Hope Renee'
L - Life is incomplete without? God
M - Marriage date: August 20, 1988
N - Number of siblings: 4, 1 sister 3 brothers... all younger than me
O - Oranges or apples: Apples with peanut butter
P - Phobias or fears: Flying
Q - Fave quote: I don't know that I have a favorite quote. I'll think about it and get back to you
R - Reason to smile: My children and grandchildren :)
S - Season: I love them all, they each have a special attraction to me.
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: Dawn, Autumn and....Tracie in TN, you know who you are...I still can't access your blog :)
U - Unknown fact about me: You want me to give away deep dark secrets??? I used to be an alcoholic...BUT GOD :)
V- Vegetable you don't like: Lima beans blah, shiver
W - Worst habit: is a bad habit the same as a sin?? I really spend to much time on the computer, I know I have mentioned that twice now...does it give you an idea
X - Xrays: Well, my husband reads them so they are a good thing for us ;)
Y - Your fave food: A good steak with tiger dill sauce from Outback
Z - Zodiac sign: Libra if it really matters. I happen to think it doesn't

Christmas 2006

2006-12-25T04:57:00.000-08:00

Praise God for His most indescribable gift!!!! He alone is worthy of praise not just today but everyday. May each of you have a joy-filled Christmas day as you celebrate the birth of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. My prayer for each of us is that at this time next year we will be walking more closely with, finding more joy in and loving more deeply the Lord of glory. For those who read this who may not know the Lord of glory, I pray that this time next year you will know Him as your Lord and Savior.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Christmas Questions...Answered

2006-12-13T15:23:00.000-08:00

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? My husband's egg nog milkshakes, adult or non-adult version is fine with me.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? who is Santa??

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored...although I could be convinced to go white I'm sure.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? We don't need misletoe to get/give kisses here :)

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually the first weekend in December

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? hmmm, that is hard. My mom's stuffing, Janet's layered salad, my sweet potato casserole

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Opening Jojo and Edbaby's presents on Christmas eve after we decorated the tree

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I have no idea

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We did when I was little, but not now

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? various balls, Hope's ornaments from Nonie and Gramps, quite a few ornaments that explain the reason for Christmas, irridesent beads and a gold crown of thorns to remind us why Jesus came...the crown is my favorite ornament

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? If I've no place to go and it's warm inside, let it snow.

12. Can you ice skate? umm, not sure I've ever tried

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? growing up a doll my mom made, when I was 16 the Hope Chest my dad made and as an adult...not sure there have been alot

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? my Dad's pecan pie

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Pancake breakfast; new Christmas pj's;

17. What tops your tree? a gold crown of thorns

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night...especially when it is sung by T. Murray

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I can take them or leave them

Okay, okay....I'm blogging

2006-12-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

My goodness go five or six weeks without blogging and...well, people threaten to stalk you :)

Let me see since the last time I really blogged (blog things don't count). My life really isn't all that exciting. I have been busy with school with Hope and cheerleading. She is a cheerleader for the Pulaski County Flames This was at her most recent game. I am surprised and how much I enjoy the games. I thought I would be more interested in wathcing the girls cheer but I'm finding I get quite caught up in the games. They are really fun.
Thanksgiving was good. Autumn, Andy and the kids came down from Cleveland and Dawn, Matt and Judah flew in from California(on a plane, for all you funny people out there). They all spent the day with the Little Rock Family, while Richard,Hope and I went to Texarkana, like we always do. The plan was to get up Friday morning and decorate the tree/house for Christmas. Have Christmas on Saturday morning and then New Year's Day on Saturday afternoon (Beans and corn bread by Nonie). Well, when the girls and their families got home someone said something about presents. Autumn and Dawn looked at me with somewhat puppydog eyes. I said "if we open presents tonight we are not decorating tomorrow" They said fine, so it really is all about the presents ;) So we opened presents

It was fun and I think everyone really enjoyed what they got. It was great having everyone here. The one sad note( we actually had two, Autumn had a misscarriage while she was here. She had just found out that she was pregnant. Unfortunately I don't think I was very supportive :( my bad) was that all three of the Bruckman kids got sick with a horrid cold or something. I think they are still recovering. One night Hailey really scared us. We thought we were going to have to take her to the ER but at the last moment her breathing eased and she stopped choking. I think the Lord intervened on her behalf (Thank you, Father). Judah started getting sick the day they went home. After everyone was home Autumn, Andy, Dawn, Matt and I got sick. THEN (drum roll) Dawn called and asked "can I take sudafed if I'm pregnant?" Yes, Dawn is expecting again :) Judah and the baby will be 17 months apart. So, Dawn was sick, then found out she was pregnant then called today to say that the doctor thinks she has the flu :P I wish there was something that could transport you around (think star trek) I could go help Dawn, then go help Autumn with the move...OH I forgot to mention AUTUMN AND ANDY ARE MOVING TO LITTLE ROCK!!!!!!! My word, how could I forget that. (Aut, please forgive your dense mom...you may have an idea of why I'm a bit fuzzy typing this. hehe) The Bruckmans will be moving to LR the first of the year. This is an answer to my prayers...ones that I thought were impossible for God to answer (again, my bad) I'm so grateful that He is faithful even when we are not.

Okay, so I'm thinking about what I have written and everyone should be caught up with my girls :) Maybe that is why I don't blog often...I don't really have anything to blog about me...maybe that isn't important. I am learning alot in our sunday school class on marriage...but I will save that for another blog :D I will leave you with pictures of the most adorable little people
I hope you all enjoy this...who knows when I'll blog again...oh yes, I forgot about THE STALKER!!!!

I'm bored...blogthings comin' at ya

2006-10-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

You Are a Glazed Donut

Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that.You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you.And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.

What Donut Are You?

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways.You tend to focus on color and movement in art.For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail.You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

What Art Movement Are You?

You Are 55% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...Other things you do are downright strangeYou've got a little of your freak going onBut you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.You often find yourself on the outside looking in.Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.
You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Very popular, one of you is not enough.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Like Autumn's long list

2006-10-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

I got this from Autumn’s blog. If you want to play too, feel free...it's fun. Copy and paste this into a Word Document. Make bold what you have done then copy and paste it into your blog post ;) Let me know if you do it so I can read yours :)
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow does a goat count?
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children (or…raising children)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds (cumulatively, if you count pregnancy! lol!)
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery (I consider any surgery where they "put you under" to be major)
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes ... yum!
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Today...

2006-10-02T15:19:00.000-07:00

I'm praising God for giving me the desire to homeschool, a husband that wants me to homeschool, a state that makes it relatively easy to homeschool. I am quite confident that a gunman is not going to come into my home and kill my daughter. My heart is so heavy with grief for these families...of the girls and the gunman. I know that some people would rather the gunman not die so they can have justice served. I believe with their death justice has been served.

Sorry for the downer post but I had to say it.

Turning 44

2006-09-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

It is my birthday. I turn 44 today. Alot of women don't like to admit their age, don't like aging. I think that is sad. I have had 44 years of God's grace poured out in my life. He has cared for me, protected me, provided for me, loved me, been patient with me. He has shown me Himself over and over. I'm glad I'm 44. I haven't had a horrible life or a particularly trying life but there have been bumps on the road. Bumps I wouldn't want to relive but bumps I wouldn't want to be without because they have been used by God, permitted by God, to make me into the person I am today. I am the person God wants me to be TODAY. I'm not where I need to be or where I will be but I trust I am where I am suppose to be for today. So ask me my age, I'll proudly tell you I'm 44 years old because of God's grace

AAHHH, Dawn tagged me

2006-08-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

I was so excited to see the Galant had tagged Dawn. I wanted to see what books she would talk about...I didn't think about the fact I might get tagged. This is a hard question, but I will try. I do reserve the right to add some in future posts and like Dawn, the Bible is excluded here because it is the obvious answer to the questions :)

One book that changed your life:
No one has probably heard of this one but it is "Plain Bread" by former 700 club host Ben Kinchlow (I think that is how you spell his name). The Lord used that book to bring me to my knees and to Himself. The book "Psycobabble" has also made a huge impact on me recently. It is by Dr. Richard Ganz

One book you've read more than once:
This is not going to be a spiritual answer. I don't think I have read any "spriritual" books more than once, although there are some I do want to read again. Now for my answer...Charlotte's Web :) I have read it 5-6 times in my life time. I can't wait for the live action film to come out in December.

One book you'd want on a desert island:
Well, I hate to be a copy-cat but a desert island survival guide is a good idea.

One book that made you laugh:
Oh my goodness, a couple of years ago during school with Hope we read a book called "The Great Turkey Walk". I really don't laugh out loud much but it was hard to even read parts of this book because it was so funny.

One book that made you cry:
I cried with each of the Mark of the Lion series that Dawn mentioned. Where the Red Fern Grows, Little Britches...um that is more that one isn't it? :)

One book you wish had been written:
The books that are floating around in Matt's head and the book Jaclyn may write someday :)

One book you wish had never been written:
This is hard because every book ever written God has used to bring to fruition His plan for the world for example, "Origin of the Species" God has used to degrade the human race which will ultimately bring the Antichrist which will ultimately usher in the New Heaven and the New Earth...all I can say is Maranatha!!!!!

One book you're currently reading:
Oh my, I'm not reading just one book at present. May I list just a few? "God's Solutions for Lifes Problems" Wayne and Josh Mack, "Love to Eat Hate to Eat" Elyse Fitzpatrick, "And the Stones Cry Out" I don't remember the author, and for school with Hope "Murder for Her Majesty". I don't remember that author either.

One book you've been meaning to read:
I agree with Dawn ::sigh:: there are so many!!!
The Battle for the Beginning-John McArthur
Before the Flood-an Answers in Genesis book
A Place of Quiet Rest
I could go on but I won't since it is supposed to be one book.

I told Dawn I wouldn't tag anyone since really no one else reads my blog and I don't really have anyone to tag :) This was fun. Thanks for the tag Dawn...oh, tell Matt I tag him :) when he gets a chance.

From Canada to Cleveland

2006-08-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

I knew it had been a long time since I posted but I didn't realize it was over 2 months. I guess I don't see the point in blogging all that much since the only people who read it are people I talked to nearly every day. (that would be my daughters:) )
The day after my last blog we went to Canada, Vancouver, British Columbia to be exact. I sat between two Canadian brothers on the last leg of the trip up there and they were very fun. It was God's grace because they helped keep my mind off of flying. The weather was lovely. Hope and I went to the aquarium(we don't recommend spending the money for it) and we walked back to our hotel. It turned out to be a bit further than I thought, it is a memory :)
One day all three of us (Dad, Hope, me) went to Vancouver Isalnd and toured Buchart Gardens...it is as beautiful as ever. Example, I actually took this with MY camera it is not a promotional photo. Remember you can click on it to make it bigger :)

The day before we left we went on a hike to a place called Lighthouse park...it too was beautiful. It was very cool in the forest. Here is my favorite picture from that and also a family "Canada" picture.

After we were happy to find out Autumn and the children were going to be able to come for a quick visit :) That was fun, I love it when they come to visit. Here are some pictures from that...the one of the three children around the tree...Hope took that.

Okay, this stinks...I can't upload any pictures. Well, maybe later...anyway. I started a tradition with Erik, Hailey and Noah (it will apply to all grandchildren, when they are old enough). When they come to Nini and Papa's house we will go to Chuck E. Cheese while they are here. I think they are liking that tradition.

Next Hope went to New Mexico with Nonie and Gramps to help get Broken Arrow Bible Ranch ready for the camp season. I have to say it was weird having her gone for a week. I learned I need to learn to be by myself. She had a good time and Nonie said it better than she had expected. While Hope was gone Richard and I attended a FitzRandolph family reunion in Texarkana...nothing like being in a room full of people you don't know :)

Our next adventure...this was also without Hope, am I seeing a pattern here? R and I went to Cleveland to help celebrate Noah's 2nd birthday and Erik's 5th birthday. We stopped overnight in northern Kentucky so we could go for a "before it officially opens" tour of the Answers in Genisis Creation museum. It was wonderful!!! It will be so worth a trip once it is open. Go here for more info http://www.answersingenesis.org/museum/
We had a good time in Cleveland...I'm sure everyone there appreciates the fact that we brought Arkansas type weather with us. It was very hot and humid. They were having heat advisories and ozone action days just like here. The AC in the van died but praise God it was under warrenty and we got it fixed with no problem. We also had to get the windshield fixed do to a rock kicking up and hitting the windshield...talk about scary. The trip home was memorable too...I have never experienced such horrible storms while on the road. We got a good example of the power of the Lord. I'm grateful to know that He placed each lightening strike away from us...although I have to confess there were times where I thought they were a little too close ;) God is good though, as always. We are home safe and sound. Hope had a good week with Nonie and Gramps and working in VBS. Next week we start school....eighth grade for Hope, where does the time go?

Enjoy the book, girls :D

How God made me smile today

2006-04-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

As those of you who read this blog know, I'm afraid to fly. We are flying tomorrow. It is supposed to be rainy/stormy when we leave. I've been fighting spiritually all week plus I'm premenstral, which heightens any and all emotion. This morning I was having a hard time and talking to Mom about it as I prepared my breakfast. As I pulled the protective covering of foil off of my tub of cream cheese, I began to cry and smile at the same time. This is why

God gave me a happy face! I believe God is sovreign over all things big and small. He loves me and this was a way to remind me to rejoice in Him all the time, no matter the circumstances. Thank you Father for this reminder :)

Mercy: Not getting what I deserve

2006-04-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

Last night I was reading in my Bible, I'm in Luke right now. I have come to Jesus' arrest and trial. As I was reading about Him being mocked and beaten I became overwhelmed with what that meant. So often, I think we read scripture and we don't really engage our brains or hearts. I began to think about what Jesus endured. Mock: to treat with ridicule or contepmt; deride (thank you dictionary.com) They were doing this to Him. We don't know all they said or did but, we do know they blindfolded Him and then hit Him asking Him to tell them who hit Him. Oh, what He could have done to them! He didn't and it was for me. From the other gospels we know they spit on Him. Think about that...how offensive is that. What if someone were to spit on you? Even once. I gather they spit on Him over and over. All this was before Caiaphas the high priest...then He was sent to Pilate. After being questioned by Pilate, while the chief priests and crowd continually accused Him, Jesus was sent to Herod. Herod was excited, only because he wanted Jesus to perform a "sign". It would seem Herod was looking for some circus act so he could be entertained. Here Herod and his soldiers mocked Jesus. Think of all of this...being hit with fists, slapped, mocked, teased, having thorns pushed into your head, being spit on. Even one of these things is something I can't imagine having to endure but He did...for me. It should have been me being beaten, spit on, mocked, teased and we haven't even gotten to the crucifiction yet. All this done for me because He loved me, not only did Jesus love me but God the Father also. Our worship pastor recently talked about how God the Father has loved us all along. Jesus' death didn't result in God the Father's love for me. Jesus' death was because of the Father's love for me Yet I still sin over and over. I agree with Paul...I am a wretched man...a worm. I need to remember what Christ suffered for me, not just see it as words on a page. My heart is crying out "MARANATHA!!!!"

Something fun...

2006-04-10T18:45:00.000-07:00

I stole from someone elses blog :) Enjoy, anyone want to join me?

1.YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name) Kim Kavanaugh

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy) Joanne Snickers

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) K Fit

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school) Koala Sahuaro

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Marie WashingtonDC

6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of dad/mom, cell phone Company you use): Robert Cingular

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name) Fit-nch-dum

8. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left, favorite restaurant)Logitech Outback

The Glory of God's Creation....

2006-04-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

right outside my front door. Each morning when I open my front door, my senses are assaulted, with color, scent and sound. I usually let the dog out around sunrise. When I open the door I hear the birds proclaiming the glory of God as the sun is rising. I see the pure white of the dogwood blossoms and various pinks and reds in the azalea bushes. Then to top it off, the light pink azalea, near our front door, is very fragrant. I will share pics here, I wish I could share the whole experience. Let all the creation praise the LORD!!!!
dogwoods taken from the front deck

close up of the dogwood blossoms

we have three azaleas this color

I so enjoy the scent of this bush!

baby gumballs (or moonmen if you are a Savary)

example of the flowers in my flower box...if I can keep the squirrels out...they are suppose to attract butterflies.
I hope you enjoyed the little tour of God's creation out my front door as much as I enjoy it each day.

Nini's Side of the Story

2006-03-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

Judah is here!!! He arrived on March 10 at 5:11. What a long day it was, especially for Dawn. You can read the blow by blow of labor and delivery here http://www.spanishmorning.blogspot.com. I'm just going to write about some memories I'm taking away from watching my second daughter go through labor...

The quiet. Autumn even woke me and Mom up with a whisper
Getting dressed and gone in less than 10 minutes and trying to keep a very excited great-grandma quiet. Although now that I think back on it, Dawn was already in the car so we probably didn't have to whisper at that point
Sort of getting lost at the hospital...Matt took a certain turn, I was following then the next thing I knew he had turned around and was gone. We finally figured out where we had to go to park
Trying to get into the hospital :) We went to the main entrance but it was shut. We talked to someone over an intercom and eventually got in...it was funny but you had to be there I guess.
Sort of getting lost in the emergency room on the way to get the exercise ball. "Is this the way we go? Um, no"
The rain, then the clouds lifting so we could see the snow way down on the mountains. This is especially precious to me because it made me think of Hope at home getting ready to sing at her first youth retreat. She sang a verse about God's storehouses of snow :) I cried at the glory of it .
Praying Dawn would get an epidural...no one knows about this. She was in such pain and had been laboring for so long. God eventually answered my prayer with a yes :)
Matt dressing in his smurf suit :)
"Going somewhere in a hellbasket" :D
The decision for a c-section and not worrying...it was a good decision.
Mom, Autumn and I adjusting our chairs so we could see down the hallway where we knew we would see Matt coming...he came a different way
Closing the door to the room so Dawn wouldn't hear other women screaming
Joy, Kim, Jen, Dawn's nurses they were all so good
Saying "hi, Judah" when I first saw him and having him start to cry...not sure Matt will ever let me live that one down ;)
Watching Matt with Judah, he is so.....natural and caring. He will be/is a great dad
Last but not least and maybe most precious to me was watching Autumn help Dawn as she labored. Autumn knew what Dawn wanted in her labor and she did all she could to help her achieve that. I'm not sure I can even put into words what I observed. There was a tenderness, a sweetness.....maybe a bonding between sisters. It is a memory I will treasure. (Autumn, I get tears when I think about how much you needed to be there and God's provision for you to be there. You were wonderful!!!! I'm extrordinarily proud of you. I consider it a gift from the Lord to have witnessed the sweetness between you and your little sister. God is so good!!)

Okay, you can see pictures of Judah on Dawn's blog. I'm posting one of my favorites, not of Judah. There are some of Matt that I like too but I don't have permission to post those :)

A lightbulb moment

2006-02-28T06:53:00.000-08:00

Those of you who read this know how fearful I am when it comes to flying. I'm flying to California in a week. I hate being afraid of flying...it is exhausting. This morning Richard asked me what he could pray for today. I told him that I was doing pretty well in dealing with my fear until I heard that Autumn had a bad flight yesterday. Since then it has been a horrible fight, in my mind. We talked a few minutes...actually he talked and I wasn't liking what he said. He was telling how to fix things...I was experiencing the Eve syndrome, you know, wanting to lord it over my husband and not have him tell me what to do. BUT GOD (aren't those wonderful words) intervened in my heart. Richard was telling me that I wasn't really dealing with my fear just simply repressing it until the day when I had a right to be fearful, that I was thinking wrong thoughts, even though they seemed the right thoughts and prayers even. He said to overcome the fear I needed to not deal with the fear but deal with God, which I thought I was doing. Then he said, what was so simple but so profound, that I need to come to a place where if I crash in a plane regardless of the result (life or death) that it is okay b/c that is what God wills. As I pondered this I started thinking about Jesus in the garden...He prayed for "this cup to pass but not my will but Thine" I don't know if Jesus was afraid in the garden but ultimately He wanted God's will. As I contemplated more I realized that if I truely want God's will and REALLY believe that He will only allow what is best for me, even if it is living through a plane crash and all that goes with that, then there is no room for fear. This is harder to put on "paper" than I thought it would be. Let me see...........If I really want God's will I won't be afraid. That still doesn't convey what is in my heart. It also has to do with trust and submission. Jesus completely trusted the Father and was totally submitted to Him. In my fear there is lack of trust and submission....yes, I get on the planes that I have to get on but my heart is still on the ground. I am needing to want God's will and submit to it, trusting that it is all good, no matter what...when I get to that place the fear will be gone because I will have replaced it with what is truely right. I want to be in that place...pray for me

I'm such a copycat :)

2006-02-16T12:07:00.000-08:00

Click on each link and pick the words that best describe me. One list is positive traits the other is negative. Please be honest :)
negative
http://kevan.org/nohari?view=ehsnini

positive
http://kevan.org/johari?view=ehsnini

Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day and share my flowers with all of you. I pray each of you will rejoice in the knowledge of the TRUE Lover of your soul.

Following Tracie and Autumn's lead

2006-02-10T10:11:00.000-08:00

1. your first name

2. your middle name

3. your last name (maiden)

4. your last name (married)

5. age on next birthday

6. your favorite color

7. Place where you want to live

8. Place where you actually live

9. A habit that I have

10. Favorite food

11. Favorite animal

12. Religion

13. Dream job

This was time consuming but fun. I will warn you if you decide to do this...the pics that can come up are...shall we say, not always appropriate, so be careful :)

Election...by God

2006-02-05T18:52:00.000-08:00

We have been doing a verse by verse study in Genesis, in Sunday School. This morning Todd brought up very interesting point. This is not word for word what he said but...

It is easier to read the old testament and accept God's choosing specific ones than to read the new testament and accept the doctrine of God's choosing specific ones. Examples: Jacob over Esau, Joseph over the other eleven, David over the other seven, even Israel over any other nation

I thought this was very interesting, not something I had ever thought about. Just thought I'd share it :)

Autumn asked...

2006-02-03T09:13:00.000-08:00

"what is HE teaching you lately?" Well, a multitude of things, but the biggest/most prominent right now is about idols. The best definition I have ever heard for idol was:
"An idol is something I am willing to sin to get or willing to sin because I can't have it"
I've always heard and believed that idols could be anything...from a statue of a Buddha or a kachina doll to money/fame to people whether famous people or your children and/or spouse. I think I knew to that to be loved/accepted/important were also things that could be idols. I knew/know that ultimately every idol that a I/you have in our lives leads back to me/you. ( hope that makes sense) Over the last couple of days I have come to the realization, in my own life, that I am my own idol (that is very hard to admit). I did a lot of thinking and praying yesterday and came to the conclusion that the majority of what I do or don't do, I do for me...specifically my comfort and convenience. I am ashamed. I am asking God to make me truly repentant, to change my heart...to be honest these are scary prayers because they go against my desire for comfort and convenience. I don't think I have ever felt such a spiritual battle going on in my heart...it hurts but at the same time I know that God isn't going to leave me here...why else would He reveal this to me if He wasn't going to change me and make me ready for change. I'm standing on the promises that God is faithful, merciful and gracious. I'm thankful for His goodness in revealing myself to me. I pray I will continue to be open to His severe mercy.

A Tribute...

2006-01-15T06:14:00.000-08:00

to my 19 year old nephew, Cory. He died this morning apparently from complications from pneumonia. Cory live at the Conway Human Developement Center in Conway. I just thought I would make a list of things I remember about him.

Snakes: He loved snakes, the rubber kind :) If you wanted him to look at a real one he wanted nothing to do with it because he was afraid of them. He got a box of snakes for Christmas, rubber ones :)

Handcuffs: He loved these too...not sure why.

He loved to help around the house...taking out the trash, clearing the table. He had a job in Conway, where he lived helping in restraunts clearing tables. He loved his job :) He helped Christmas day too, that was nice.

He loved his mom, Janet. He would follow her around the house like a puppy.

He loved his home, the Conway development center. It was structure for him so it was security. When he was here in Little Rock, he knew when he wanted to go home.

He enjoyed Dune, our dog, on Christmas day. Cory was sooo gentle with Dune, but you could tell he was like a little kid...he liked Dune so much he wanted to squeeze him...almost to death:)

His smile, Cory always had a smile ready. He also would come and pat people on the back in greeting.

Music: Cory loved to sing. When he would be visiting and would attend church he would join in the singing. He was also sensitive to music...Kenny G would make him cry

I'm sad Cory is gone. Cory was autistic and had other developmentle delays...he was about a 4 year old in a 19 year old body. I will miss him. I trust God that Cory is now perfect and worshipping our true and loving Lord....in song :)

Spiritual this and that

2006-01-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

A couple of years ago Janet bought me a book called "The Valley of Vision". It is a book of prayers. I have sort of looked at it a few times but decided this year I was going to read a prayer a day. I want to share a couple of excerpts that have been meaningful to me.
Under the heading of "The Divine Will":
"If Thy mercy make me poor and vile, bless be thou!
Prayers arising from my needs are preparations for future mercies;
Help me to honor thee by believing before I feel, for great is the sin if I
make feeling a cause of faith."

There is another one, I was going to post but it is a whole prayer actually. I'm not sure if it is right(legal) to type the whole thing out in this venue. If you want to see it, let me know and I will e-mail it...that isn't so public and I think that would be okay.

I also would like to recommend another blog: http://girltalk.blogs.com/ It is the blog of Carolyn Mahaney and her girls. They are sometimes fun, sometimes practicle(spelling?) spiritually focused and down to earth (read, real). I'm enjoying that blog alot. They have some really good thoughts on fear.

These last several days have been exciting for me because God has given me a real desire to meet with Him each day and....I've been doing it. We serve such a wonderful, awesome God!!!

Christmas 2005 part 2

2006-01-05T19:18:00.000-08:00

Ah, Christmas day :) It began actually Saturday evening. I made sure Richard, Hope and I showered Saturday so Matt, Dawn, Autumn and Andy could shower on Sunday morning. I was up early on Christmas to get ready for Jesus' Birthday Party (breakfast) This is a family tradition, that I actually had thought about stopping since it is sort of for little people but Dawn said it was one of her favorite traditions so we had it. I make 3 big pancakes, they represent God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. We use red syrup (Jesus' blood) whipped cream (we are cleasned as white as "snow") a big candle (Jesus is the light of the world) then little candles for each person (we reflect Jesus' light) It was a little nerve-wracking letting the little ones light their candle then try to put them in the "cake". The only one burned was ME :)
After breakfast it was time for presents (oh I forgot, we let the kids open presents from non-parents on Christmas eve, to save time on Christmas morning) Another tradition is we start with the youngest person and they get to open their presents while everyone watches, then the next oldest and so on. That way there is not really any present opening frenzy and people who enjoy watching others open presents get to do that. I hope to it helps teach us all to be less greedy and self-centered.
Next was time for church. The grandchildren all had yucky noses and Aut and Andy didn't feel great. As we were leaving Hope said she didn't feel well either, so they all stayed home. Church was good...as usual.
Now the real fun began, after church Richard was talking to some friends and found out they were without extended family for the holiday so he invited them to come eat with us. He is very thoughtful. I confess I wasn't thrilled at first...umm, did I make a comment earlier about learning to not be self-centered??? :) I got a lesson. (I must have hidden my frustration because he thanked me later for handling the situation so well. I say thank you LORD for putting the guard on my mouth) So we get home and Aut and Andy had straightened up the house (Thank you!!!!) I got to work on getting the tables set up (we had 28 for dinner), the sweet potatoe casserole started and checked the turkey. I need to mention I had debated whether to put the turkey in the oven before church or after since we were eating late. As you will find out, it was a good thing in went in before church. Mom and Dad came and Mom started helping in the kitchen...she is in charge of mashed potatoes, gravey, rolls. So we are working and about 2:30 I check the turkey again. It is beautiful and the little button thingy is popped up so it is ready :) I ask Mom if I should take it out or leave it in the oven to stay warm. As we debate that issue, there is an explosive sound outside and we loose power. Hence the good reason to have the turkey in the oven before church (God is SSSSOOOO in control, and I'm glad) I look at my mom and say "this is fun" That was a good response on my part because Christmas is pretty stressful for me. So we call people and tell them what happen and dinner may be delayed. I called the electric company and they say it will be between 4:20 and 5:20 before we have power restored. Richard says we should take what needs to be cooked to Mom's and finish cooking there then bring it back to our house. Which we do...20 after we are at Mom's Matt calls and says the power is back on :P Well, we stay and finish cooking everything, except the rolls, which we haul raw back to our house (this is the rolls third trip of the day :) ). We get home, get everything on the table and sit down. (When you have been cooking, there is nothing like sitting down). The meal was good, as usual, our family has really good cooks and we all help.
After dinner comes more presents, starting with the youngest. This is really chaotic. We still start with the youngest and go to the oldest. It seems the older we all get the harder it is to remember who was born when so who is next :) But we always seem to figure it out :) Soon after presents it it pie time, Dad's contribution to the day. He is the pie expert. Of course, none of us really have room but we eat it anyway and it is wonderful. Then of course everyone sits around like yard dogs. Well, the adults do, the kids play and rough house.
Soon, those who are not staying with us head home...rough housing kids make for sleepy kids :) It was a fun day, a spiritually growing day (for me), a stressful day, a noisy day but it wouldn't be Christmas any other way and I wouldn't want it any other way :)