Just a quick note

I want to point out a new thing on my side bar under "scripture memory".  If you click on the link that says "Bible memory verses" it will take you to a web site called "Scripture Typer".  It is a wonderful tool I found to help with memorizing scripture.  It is good for me because I can type it, say it as I type it and see it; so many ways to get the Word in my brain!!!  It also has an app for use on your phone... not sure which phones can be used.  I have an iphone and it works with that.  I'm very excited about this.  If you decide to try it let me know how you like it.  Oh, one more thing, the verse that is right under where it says "scripture memory", that is the latest verse I've been working on :)

Idols of the Heart

I debated a couple of days whether I was going to blog about this or not.  Sometimes I wonder about blogging... why do we do it?  I'm doing this in hopes that maybe it will help someone else and maybe to remind me (I pray, Lord, I don't need to be reminded).

This week the Lord, in His infinite kindness, revealed an idol that I had in my heart.  I didn't know it was there, had no clue.... well, I began wondering about it in November but not in the context of it being an idol just something I "should probably think about giving up".  As you my sweet readers (3 or 4 of you) know I'm very fearful of flying... very fearful.  I always ask for prayer before I fly, though I'm never very specific about what to pray.  I pray before I fly and while I'm flying.  I try to focus on the Lord and take every thought captive, like we are taught to do in 2 Corinthians 10:5.  The Lord has been VERY gracious and has brought me to the point of being able to stay pleasant toward my family members as it gets closer to time to fly... I'm talking the weeks leading up to flying, especially the week prior.  It used to get very ugly around our house, well, let's say, I used to get very ugly.  Well many years ago it got so bad that I began taking Valium to fly.  I had talked to a pastor who I respect and asked what he thought about my taking the Valium.  He said if I needed that to be able to pray, without sinning (I guess telling God what to do is not the way to pray, i.e.  "get me on the ground, now".  I praise Him for NOT answering that particular prayer... yes I have really prayed that)  Anyway, so I kept taking the Valium.  Now, in November I had the thought, "you really shouldn't take the Valium to fly because your trusting in it not in the Lord."  Well, I swept that thought a way as quick as I could blink... are. you. kidding. me!!!!  We were planning a trip to see our Special Maryland Five in December.  The thought of giving up the ido... I mean the Valium came to me several times but I always brushed the thought away.  At the end of November I had an appointment with my doctor.... did I need any refills?  Oh, yes we are flying in December could I get some more Valium?  Of course! :)  So we went to Maryland and I had my Valium.

So, what happened this week?  The thoughts from November became a conviction from the strangest of places.  I wasn't thinking about flying or anything of the sort.  I was reading a transcript from Revive Our Hearts (a ministry of Nancy Leigh DeMossAsherim), I opened the bottle and I put those pills in the garbage disposal and I told the Lord that it was for Him that I did that.  I have no regrets. None.  Am I nervous about our trip? Yes but not fearful, not paralyzed.  I know that by God's grace, which is lavish, I will get on the plane un-medicated.  I am looking forward to see how the Lord is going to work.  God is so good, so kind, so patient.  So many times I think the Lord will only work through tragic means to teach me things... I don't know why I think that, He never really has.  I'm so thankful that though this was hard, He was so gentle with me.  Thank you, Father.  You truly are a great and might God... the only God.

Thankful Thursday

I want to preface this posts with the statement that these "Thankful Thursday" post should assume that I am thankful for my heavenly Father, my Savior, the Holy Spirit, God's word, my family and my friends... the biggys.  I want these posts to be about the extra little graces(or big graces) that the Lord gives.  With that said:

I'm thankful for the fun happy spirit of the physical therapists where I get PT on my ankle.  I love going to PT just because everyone is in a good mood, joking around and just generally happy.  It makes the hard work that much easier.

Following the lead of others: Thankful Thursday

I"m thankful to have found out that I have had an impact on a young woman at our church.  What a blessing to know that God will use you in another person's life just by living your life.  What an honor to be used by Him at all.

Thirty Years Ago Today

Today is a big day. Today my second daughter turns thirty. When I had Dawn thirty years ago I had no idea what the Lord had in mind. Before I go there I want to review and reflect on her birth story. The day before Dawn was born I became concerned because every time I coughed, laughter or sneezed I would "wet myself". I was mortified that this was happening. I finally said something to my mom the next day. She told me we should go to the doctor and get it checked. Now at this time of my life I was living with my mom and dad up in a leeettle town called Challis. It is in Idaho. Dawn's father was in boot camp. The doctor was out fishing so the physician's assistant, who also went to our church, was there and checked the leakage with litmus paper and it was not what I thought it was, it was amniotic fluid. So I was going to have a baby that day. It was January, obviously, there was snow on the ground. We went to the pastor's house so we could make plans for Autumn to be cared for and how we were going to go to Salmon, the town where the hospital was... about 60 miles from Challis. I remember Pastor Chuck being so tender and caring. He made me sit in their recliner so I could rest for the work I had ahead of me :) This was all sort of silly to me since I didn't feel like I was going to have a baby, no contractions or anything else. There was also talk of how we needed to be careful driving because of the ice/snow on the roads and the windingness (is that a word) of the road. I don't remember the drive much, but I do think Chuck followed us to the hospital to be sure we got there safely. We got there safely. Within a short amount of time I was in a room and hooked up to an IV with pitocin started. My contractions started about 1:00pm. The hospital I had was sort of behind the times and were not really familiar with "natural childbirth". As my labor progressed the nurse, she was pretty old, came in with two little box things and talked about an enema and a shave. Well, I hadn't had either with Autumn so there was no way I was having it with this baby. After a bit of back and forth she realized I was not going to let her do either procedure and she left the room. I would be interested to see what she wrote in my chart :) I was determined to have a drug free labor, except of course for the pitocin. After several hours I was very tired and tired of being in labor. My mom was with me the whole time but Dad would come in periodically to check on me. When I was at my low point, it seemed the labor was slowing. My contractions became farther apart and didn't last as long. I was very frustrated. Dad came in and I told him I just couldn't go on. He told me that he believed the Lord was giving me a break before transition and the birth of the baby. I thought he was nuts. Well, about twenty minutes later the labor kicked up a lot. The nurse had the doctor come in and check me... I was at 5-6 cm.... he said I would be another 2-3 hours. I remember distinctly looking at him and telling him I couldn't do that. He said "well, I'm going to go grab some dinner. I'll check on you when I get back." Well, he left and the next thing I know, I HAD to push. The nurse was there and I told her I had to push. She turned around and told me,"I have to go get the delivery room ready so just pant and hold it." Mom said, "you have to pant" I remember her being right over me and helping me concentrate on panting....It was a strange experience. I sort of pushed at the end of each pant... crazy. Well, I honestly don't know exactly what happened but I do remember telling my mom, "I think the baby is here, what is it." She peeked down on the bed and she said, "yes, I think it is a girl."(I had been convinced I was having a boy, no ultra-sound for proof though) We just sort of stood there not really knowing what to do. Pretty soon the nurse came back in and was in a dither because "the baby was born out of the sterile environment of the delivery room." Oh, also, Dad had run out to get the doctor as he was getting into his car to go eat dinner. I honestly don't remember a lot of what happened the next few minutes, except I remember watching blood going up my IV and wondering if it was okay. The doctor came in and was really angry. He made comments about how he was going to have to spend a long time sewing me up since I was probably horribly torn. Well, God took care of me.... not a tear, not. one. Dad took a couple pics of Dawn as they whisked her off to the nursery, through the unsterile halls of the hospital, I might add.

So, here we are thirty years later.... really? really thirty years? Could it possibly have been that long? I didn't know it but that day the Lord allowed me to have a precious little girl who has grown into a wonderful, amazing, godly woman. She is my daughter, sister in Christ, mentor and one of my best friends. She is a fantastic wife, mother and servant of her Lord. I'm so grateful to the Lord for knitting that baby together in my womb, allowing her to grow into the woman she is, for choosing her before the foundation of the world and letting us have a close relationship even though we live far apart.

I love you so much! I pray you have the happiest of birthdays. Remember you are celebrating thirty years of God's grace, there is nothing better to celebrate!

In Case You Didn't Know...

I have started another blog. It is with Dawn and is about home-management. We plan on blogging about all things dealing with the home, cooking, cleaning, organizing, child-rearing. We don't claim to be experts by any stretch of the imagination but we know what our experiences tell us. I hope you will join me over here I will keep blogging here, who knows maybe I will start blogging here more? :D

A Couple of Things I Don't Want to Forget

This will be a short post but I want to post them so I don't forget them.

The morning of surgery Tim came to pray and read scripture with me before surgery. I honestly don't remember which scripture he read... I think it was Ps. 121 (just double checked with my hubby and it is Ps. 121) In the second verse it says "He will not let your foot be moved". Tim stopped and we all sort of giggled. Tim said he didn't think he had ever read that Psalm for a foot/ankle surgery :)

The other neat thing that happened involved my anesthesiologist. She and my nurse came in thinking Tim had already prayed, which he hadn't. Dr. Flaxman started talking about how they do a popliteal block. At a break in conversation Tim asked if he could pray. Dr. Flaxman apologized and said she thought we already had prayed and that yes, Tim could pray. I was thrilled when she laid her hands on my leg and prayed with us! After Tim prayed he and Richard had to leave the room so I could get my block done. As she was working I asked Dr. Flaxman if she was a believer. She said "No, actually I'm Jewish, but I believe in the power of prayer." My reaction was mixed. I felt a kindredship with this woman, knowing she believed in and prayed to the same God I believed in and prayed to but at the same time I felt a sadness knowing that she doesn't know Jesus, doesn't believe in the Messiah. Part of me wonders if she doesn't believe in Messiah, can she believe in the true God? I do know that at the time I was comforted by the fact that she believes in the power of prayer and being Jewish she believes in the God of the Old Testament... who is the God who doesn't change. How kind of God to bring me that comfort at that time.