Lovin' my blog

A - Available or single: Neither - I'm married. I thought single meant available?(left Gina's answer, it was a good one :)
B - Best friend: Besides my husband, hmm, that is a hard one...my mom or Kay or Jennifer or...
C - Cake or pie: can I have my cake and pie too??
D - Drink of choice: Coffee in the morning, tea or water in the evening, when out to dinner with my hubby for special occasions a glass of white zin.
E - Essential item you use everyday: Deodorant
F - Favorite color: Pink, Red or Purple
G - Gummy bears or worms: Bears
H - Hometown: Hometown as in now? Central AR. Where I grew up? Southern AZ
I- Indulgence: Spending to much time on the Computer
J - January or February: February...Valentine's Day and some flowers start to bloom
K - Kids & names: Three - Autumn Lea, Dawn Marie and Hope Renee'
L - Life is incomplete without? God
M - Marriage date: August 20, 1988
N - Number of siblings: 4, 1 sister 3 brothers... all younger than me
O - Oranges or apples: Apples with peanut butter
P - Phobias or fears: Flying
Q - Fave quote: I don't know that I have a favorite quote. I'll think about it and get back to you
R - Reason to smile: My children and grandchildren :)
S - Season: I love them all, they each have a special attraction to me.
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: Dawn, Autumn and....Tracie in TN, you know who you are...I still can't access your blog :)
U - Unknown fact about me: You want me to give away deep dark secrets??? I used to be an alcoholic...BUT GOD :)
V- Vegetable you don't like: Lima beans blah, shiver
W - Worst habit: is a bad habit the same as a sin?? I really spend to much time on the computer, I know I have mentioned that twice now...does it give you an idea
X - Xrays: Well, my husband reads them so they are a good thing for us ;)
Y - Your fave food: A good steak with tiger dill sauce from Outback
Z - Zodiac sign: Libra if it really matters. I happen to think it doesn't

Christmas 2006

Praise God for His most indescribable gift!!!! He alone is worthy of praise not just today but everyday. May each of you have a joy-filled Christmas day as you celebrate the birth of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. My prayer for each of us is that at this time next year we will be walking more closely with, finding more joy in and loving more deeply the Lord of glory. For those who read this who may not know the Lord of glory, I pray that this time next year you will know Him as your Lord and Savior.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Christmas Questions...Answered

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? My husband's egg nog milkshakes, adult or non-adult version is fine with me.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? who is Santa??

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored...although I could be convinced to go white I'm sure.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? We don't need misletoe to get/give kisses here :)

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually the first weekend in December

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? hmmm, that is hard. My mom's stuffing, Janet's layered salad, my sweet potato casserole

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Opening Jojo and Edbaby's presents on Christmas eve after we decorated the tree

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I have no idea

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We did when I was little, but not now

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? various balls, Hope's ornaments from Nonie and Gramps, quite a few ornaments that explain the reason for Christmas, irridesent beads and a gold crown of thorns to remind us why Jesus came...the crown is my favorite ornament

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? If I've no place to go and it's warm inside, let it snow.

12. Can you ice skate? umm, not sure I've ever tried

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? growing up a doll my mom made, when I was 16 the Hope Chest my dad made and as an adult...not sure there have been alot

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? my Dad's pecan pie

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Pancake breakfast; new Christmas pj's;

17. What tops your tree? a gold crown of thorns

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night...especially when it is sung by T. Murray

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I can take them or leave them

Okay, okay....I'm blogging

My goodness go five or six weeks without blogging and...well, people threaten to stalk you :)

Let me see since the last time I really blogged (blog things don't count). My life really isn't all that exciting. I have been busy with school with Hope and cheerleading. She is a cheerleader for the Pulaski County Flames This was at her most recent game. I am surprised and how much I enjoy the games. I thought I would be more interested in wathcing the girls cheer but I'm finding I get quite caught up in the games. They are really fun.
Thanksgiving was good. Autumn, Andy and the kids came down from Cleveland and Dawn, Matt and Judah flew in from California(on a plane, for all you funny people out there). They all spent the day with the Little Rock Family, while Richard,Hope and I went to Texarkana, like we always do. The plan was to get up Friday morning and decorate the tree/house for Christmas. Have Christmas on Saturday morning and then New Year's Day on Saturday afternoon (Beans and corn bread by Nonie). Well, when the girls and their families got home someone said something about presents. Autumn and Dawn looked at me with somewhat puppydog eyes. I said "if we open presents tonight we are not decorating tomorrow" They said fine, so it really is all about the presents ;) So we opened presents

It was fun and I think everyone really enjoyed what they got. It was great having everyone here. The one sad note( we actually had two, Autumn had a misscarriage while she was here. She had just found out that she was pregnant. Unfortunately I don't think I was very supportive :( my bad) was that all three of the Bruckman kids got sick with a horrid cold or something. I think they are still recovering. One night Hailey really scared us. We thought we were going to have to take her to the ER but at the last moment her breathing eased and she stopped choking. I think the Lord intervened on her behalf (Thank you, Father). Judah started getting sick the day they went home. After everyone was home Autumn, Andy, Dawn, Matt and I got sick. THEN (drum roll) Dawn called and asked "can I take sudafed if I'm pregnant?" Yes, Dawn is expecting again :) Judah and the baby will be 17 months apart. So, Dawn was sick, then found out she was pregnant then called today to say that the doctor thinks she has the flu :P I wish there was something that could transport you around (think star trek) I could go help Dawn, then go help Autumn with the move...OH I forgot to mention AUTUMN AND ANDY ARE MOVING TO LITTLE ROCK!!!!!!! My word, how could I forget that. (Aut, please forgive your dense mom...you may have an idea of why I'm a bit fuzzy typing this. hehe) The Bruckmans will be moving to LR the first of the year. This is an answer to my prayers...ones that I thought were impossible for God to answer (again, my bad) I'm so grateful that He is faithful even when we are not.

Okay, so I'm thinking about what I have written and everyone should be caught up with my girls :) Maybe that is why I don't blog often...I don't really have anything to blog about me...maybe that isn't important. I am learning alot in our sunday school class on marriage...but I will save that for another blog :D I will leave you with pictures of the most adorable little people
I hope you all enjoy this...who knows when I'll blog again...oh yes, I forgot about THE STALKER!!!!

I'm bored...blogthings comin' at ya

You Are a Glazed Donut

Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that.You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you.And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.

What Donut Are You?

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways.You tend to focus on color and movement in art.For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail.You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

What Art Movement Are You?

You Are 55% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...Other things you do are downright strangeYou've got a little of your freak going onBut you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.You often find yourself on the outside looking in.Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Very popular, one of you is not enough.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Like Autumn's long list

I got this from Autumn’s blog. If you want to play too, feel free...it's fun. Copy and paste this into a Word Document. Make bold what you have done then copy and paste it into your blog post ;) Let me know if you do it so I can read yours :)
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow does a goat count?
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children (or…raising children)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds (cumulatively, if you count pregnancy! lol!)
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery (I consider any surgery where they "put you under" to be major)
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes ... yum!
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Today...

I'm praising God for giving me the desire to homeschool, a husband that wants me to homeschool, a state that makes it relatively easy to homeschool. I am quite confident that a gunman is not going to come into my home and kill my daughter. My heart is so heavy with grief for these families...of the girls and the gunman. I know that some people would rather the gunman not die so they can have justice served. I believe with their death justice has been served.


Sorry for the downer post but I had to say it.

Turning 44

It is my birthday. I turn 44 today. Alot of women don't like to admit their age, don't like aging. I think that is sad. I have had 44 years of God's grace poured out in my life. He has cared for me, protected me, provided for me, loved me, been patient with me. He has shown me Himself over and over. I'm glad I'm 44. I haven't had a horrible life or a particularly trying life but there have been bumps on the road. Bumps I wouldn't want to relive but bumps I wouldn't want to be without because they have been used by God, permitted by God, to make me into the person I am today. I am the person God wants me to be TODAY. I'm not where I need to be or where I will be but I trust I am where I am suppose to be for today. So ask me my age, I'll proudly tell you I'm 44 years old because of God's grace

AAHHH, Dawn tagged me

I was so excited to see the Galant had tagged Dawn. I wanted to see what books she would talk about...I didn't think about the fact I might get tagged. This is a hard question, but I will try. I do reserve the right to add some in future posts and like Dawn, the Bible is excluded here because it is the obvious answer to the questions :)

One book that changed your life:
No one has probably heard of this one but it is "Plain Bread" by former 700 club host Ben Kinchlow (I think that is how you spell his name). The Lord used that book to bring me to my knees and to Himself. The book "Psycobabble" has also made a huge impact on me recently. It is by Dr. Richard Ganz

One book you've read more than once:
This is not going to be a spiritual answer. I don't think I have read any "spriritual" books more than once, although there are some I do want to read again. Now for my answer...Charlotte's Web :) I have read it 5-6 times in my life time. I can't wait for the live action film to come out in December.

One book you'd want on a desert island:
Well, I hate to be a copy-cat but a desert island survival guide is a good idea.

One book that made you laugh:
Oh my goodness, a couple of years ago during school with Hope we read a book called "The Great Turkey Walk". I really don't laugh out loud much but it was hard to even read parts of this book because it was so funny.

One book that made you cry:
I cried with each of the Mark of the Lion series that Dawn mentioned. Where the Red Fern Grows, Little Britches...um that is more that one isn't it? :)

One book you wish had been written:
The books that are floating around in Matt's head and the book Jaclyn may write someday :)

One book you wish had never been written:
This is hard because every book ever written God has used to bring to fruition His plan for the world for example, "Origin of the Species" God has used to degrade the human race which will ultimately bring the Antichrist which will ultimately usher in the New Heaven and the New Earth...all I can say is Maranatha!!!!!

One book you're currently reading:
Oh my, I'm not reading just one book at present. May I list just a few? "God's Solutions for Lifes Problems" Wayne and Josh Mack, "Love to Eat Hate to Eat" Elyse Fitzpatrick, "And the Stones Cry Out" I don't remember the author, and for school with Hope "Murder for Her Majesty". I don't remember that author either.

One book you've been meaning to read:
I agree with Dawn ::sigh:: there are so many!!!
The Battle for the Beginning-John McArthur
Before the Flood-an Answers in Genesis book
A Place of Quiet Rest
I could go on but I won't since it is supposed to be one book.

I told Dawn I wouldn't tag anyone since really no one else reads my blog and I don't really have anyone to tag :) This was fun. Thanks for the tag Dawn...oh, tell Matt I tag him :) when he gets a chance.

From Canada to Cleveland

I knew it had been a long time since I posted but I didn't realize it was over 2 months. I guess I don't see the point in blogging all that much since the only people who read it are people I talked to nearly every day. (that would be my daughters:) )
The day after my last blog we went to Canada, Vancouver, British Columbia to be exact. I sat between two Canadian brothers on the last leg of the trip up there and they were very fun. It was God's grace because they helped keep my mind off of flying. The weather was lovely. Hope and I went to the aquarium(we don't recommend spending the money for it) and we walked back to our hotel. It turned out to be a bit further than I thought, it is a memory :)
One day all three of us (Dad, Hope, me) went to Vancouver Isalnd and toured Buchart Gardens...it is as beautiful as ever. Example, I actually took this with MY camera it is not a promotional photo. Remember you can click on it to make it bigger :)

The day before we left we went on a hike to a place called Lighthouse park...it too was beautiful. It was very cool in the forest. Here is my favorite picture from that and also a family "Canada" picture.


After we were happy to find out Autumn and the children were going to be able to come for a quick visit :) That was fun, I love it when they come to visit. Here are some pictures from that...the one of the three children around the tree...Hope took that.

Okay, this stinks...I can't upload any pictures. Well, maybe later...anyway. I started a tradition with Erik, Hailey and Noah (it will apply to all grandchildren, when they are old enough). When they come to Nini and Papa's house we will go to Chuck E. Cheese while they are here. I think they are liking that tradition.

Next Hope went to New Mexico with Nonie and Gramps to help get Broken Arrow Bible Ranch ready for the camp season. I have to say it was weird having her gone for a week. I learned I need to learn to be by myself. She had a good time and Nonie said it better than she had expected. While Hope was gone Richard and I attended a FitzRandolph family reunion in Texarkana...nothing like being in a room full of people you don't know :)

Our next adventure...this was also without Hope, am I seeing a pattern here? R and I went to Cleveland to help celebrate Noah's 2nd birthday and Erik's 5th birthday. We stopped overnight in northern Kentucky so we could go for a "before it officially opens" tour of the Answers in Genisis Creation museum. It was wonderful!!! It will be so worth a trip once it is open. Go here for more info http://www.answersingenesis.org/museum/
We had a good time in Cleveland...I'm sure everyone there appreciates the fact that we brought Arkansas type weather with us. It was very hot and humid. They were having heat advisories and ozone action days just like here. The AC in the van died but praise God it was under warrenty and we got it fixed with no problem. We also had to get the windshield fixed do to a rock kicking up and hitting the windshield...talk about scary. The trip home was memorable too...I have never experienced such horrible storms while on the road. We got a good example of the power of the Lord. I'm grateful to know that He placed each lightening strike away from us...although I have to confess there were times where I thought they were a little too close ;) God is good though, as always. We are home safe and sound. Hope had a good week with Nonie and Gramps and working in VBS. Next week we start school....eighth grade for Hope, where does the time go?

Enjoy the book, girls :D

How God made me smile today

As those of you who read this blog know, I'm afraid to fly. We are flying tomorrow. It is supposed to be rainy/stormy when we leave. I've been fighting spiritually all week plus I'm premenstral, which heightens any and all emotion. This morning I was having a hard time and talking to Mom about it as I prepared my breakfast. As I pulled the protective covering of foil off of my tub of cream cheese, I began to cry and smile at the same time. This is why

God gave me a happy face! I believe God is sovreign over all things big and small. He loves me and this was a way to remind me to rejoice in Him all the time, no matter the circumstances. Thank you Father for this reminder :)

Mercy: Not getting what I deserve

Last night I was reading in my Bible, I'm in Luke right now. I have come to Jesus' arrest and trial. As I was reading about Him being mocked and beaten I became overwhelmed with what that meant. So often, I think we read scripture and we don't really engage our brains or hearts. I began to think about what Jesus endured. Mock: to treat with ridicule or contepmt; deride (thank you dictionary.com) They were doing this to Him. We don't know all they said or did but, we do know they blindfolded Him and then hit Him asking Him to tell them who hit Him. Oh, what He could have done to them! He didn't and it was for me. From the other gospels we know they spit on Him. Think about that...how offensive is that. What if someone were to spit on you? Even once. I gather they spit on Him over and over. All this was before Caiaphas the high priest...then He was sent to Pilate. After being questioned by Pilate, while the chief priests and crowd continually accused Him, Jesus was sent to Herod. Herod was excited, only because he wanted Jesus to perform a "sign". It would seem Herod was looking for some circus act so he could be entertained. Here Herod and his soldiers mocked Jesus. Think of all of this...being hit with fists, slapped, mocked, teased, having thorns pushed into your head, being spit on. Even one of these things is something I can't imagine having to endure but He did...for me. It should have been me being beaten, spit on, mocked, teased and we haven't even gotten to the crucifiction yet. All this done for me because He loved me, not only did Jesus love me but God the Father also. Our worship pastor recently talked about how God the Father has loved us all along. Jesus' death didn't result in God the Father's love for me. Jesus' death was because of the Father's love for me Yet I still sin over and over. I agree with Paul...I am a wretched man...a worm. I need to remember what Christ suffered for me, not just see it as words on a page. My heart is crying out "MARANATHA!!!!"

Something fun...

I stole from someone elses blog :) Enjoy, anyone want to join me?

1.YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name) Kim Kavanaugh

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy) Joanne Snickers

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) K Fit

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school) Koala Sahuaro

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Marie WashingtonDC

6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of dad/mom, cell phone Company you use): Robert Cingular

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name) Fit-nch-dum

8. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left, favorite restaurant)Logitech Outback

The Glory of God's Creation....

right outside my front door. Each morning when I open my front door, my senses are assaulted, with color, scent and sound. I usually let the dog out around sunrise. When I open the door I hear the birds proclaiming the glory of God as the sun is rising. I see the pure white of the dogwood blossoms and various pinks and reds in the azalea bushes. Then to top it off, the light pink azalea, near our front door, is very fragrant. I will share pics here, I wish I could share the whole experience. Let all the creation praise the LORD!!!!
dogwoods taken from the front deck


close up of the dogwood blossoms

we have three azaleas this color

I so enjoy the scent of this bush!


baby gumballs (or moonmen if you are a Savary)

example of the flowers in my flower box...if I can keep the squirrels out...they are suppose to attract butterflies.
I hope you enjoyed the little tour of God's creation out my front door as much as I enjoy it each day.

Nini's Side of the Story

Judah is here!!! He arrived on March 10 at 5:11. What a long day it was, especially for Dawn. You can read the blow by blow of labor and delivery here http://www.spanishmorning.blogspot.com. I'm just going to write about some memories I'm taking away from watching my second daughter go through labor...

• The quiet. Autumn even woke me and Mom up with a whisper
• Getting dressed and gone in less than 10 minutes and trying to keep a very excited great-grandma quiet. Although now that I think back on it, Dawn was already in the car so we probably didn't have to whisper at that point
• Sort of getting lost at the hospital...Matt took a certain turn, I was following then the next thing I knew he had turned around and was gone. We finally figured out where we had to go to park
• Trying to get into the hospital :) We went to the main entrance but it was shut. We talked to someone over an intercom and eventually got in...it was funny but you had to be there I guess.
• Sort of getting lost in the emergency room on the way to get the exercise ball. "Is this the way we go? Um, no"
• The rain, then the clouds lifting so we could see the snow way down on the mountains. This is especially precious to me because it made me think of Hope at home getting ready to sing at her first youth retreat. She sang a verse about God's storehouses of snow :) I cried at the glory of it .
• Praying Dawn would get an epidural...no one knows about this. She was in such pain and had been laboring for so long. God eventually answered my prayer with a yes :)
• Matt dressing in his smurf suit :)
• "Going somewhere in a hellbasket" :D
• The decision for a c-section and not worrying...it was a good decision.
• Mom, Autumn and I adjusting our chairs so we could see down the hallway where we knew we would see Matt coming...he came a different way
• Closing the door to the room so Dawn wouldn't hear other women screaming
• Joy, Kim, Jen, Dawn's nurses they were all so good
• Saying "hi, Judah" when I first saw him and having him start to cry...not sure Matt will ever let me live that one down ;)
• Watching Matt with Judah, he is so.....natural and caring. He will be/is a great dad
• Last but not least and maybe most precious to me was watching Autumn help Dawn as she labored. Autumn knew what Dawn wanted in her labor and she did all she could to help her achieve that. I'm not sure I can even put into words what I observed. There was a tenderness, a sweetness.....maybe a bonding between sisters. It is a memory I will treasure. (Autumn, I get tears when I think about how much you needed to be there and God's provision for you to be there. You were wonderful!!!! I'm extrordinarily proud of you. I consider it a gift from the Lord to have witnessed the sweetness between you and your little sister. God is so good!!)

Okay, you can see pictures of Judah on Dawn's blog. I'm posting one of my favorites, not of Judah. There are some of Matt that I like too but I don't have permission to post those :)

A lightbulb moment

Those of you who read this know how fearful I am when it comes to flying. I'm flying to California in a week. I hate being afraid of flying...it is exhausting. This morning Richard asked me what he could pray for today. I told him that I was doing pretty well in dealing with my fear until I heard that Autumn had a bad flight yesterday. Since then it has been a horrible fight, in my mind. We talked a few minutes...actually he talked and I wasn't liking what he said. He was telling how to fix things...I was experiencing the Eve syndrome, you know, wanting to lord it over my husband and not have him tell me what to do. BUT GOD (aren't those wonderful words) intervened in my heart. Richard was telling me that I wasn't really dealing with my fear just simply repressing it until the day when I had a right to be fearful, that I was thinking wrong thoughts, even though they seemed the right thoughts and prayers even. He said to overcome the fear I needed to not deal with the fear but deal with God, which I thought I was doing. Then he said, what was so simple but so profound, that I need to come to a place where if I crash in a plane regardless of the result (life or death) that it is okay b/c that is what God wills. As I pondered this I started thinking about Jesus in the garden...He prayed for "this cup to pass but not my will but Thine" I don't know if Jesus was afraid in the garden but ultimately He wanted God's will. As I contemplated more I realized that if I truely want God's will and REALLY believe that He will only allow what is best for me, even if it is living through a plane crash and all that goes with that, then there is no room for fear. This is harder to put on "paper" than I thought it would be. Let me see...........If I really want God's will I won't be afraid. That still doesn't convey what is in my heart. It also has to do with trust and submission. Jesus completely trusted the Father and was totally submitted to Him. In my fear there is lack of trust and submission....yes, I get on the planes that I have to get on but my heart is still on the ground. I am needing to want God's will and submit to it, trusting that it is all good, no matter what...when I get to that place the fear will be gone because I will have replaced it with what is truely right. I want to be in that place...pray for me

I'm such a copycat :)

Click on each link and pick the words that best describe me. One list is positive traits the other is negative. Please be honest :)
negative
http://kevan.org/nohari?view=ehsnini

positive
http://kevan.org/johari?view=ehsnini

Happy Valentine's Day

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day and share my flowers with all of you. I pray each of you will rejoice in the knowledge of the TRUE Lover of your soul.

Following Tracie and Autumn's lead

1. your first name

2. your middle name

3. your last name (maiden)

4. your last name (married)

5. age on next birthday

6. your favorite color



7. Place where you want to live



8. Place where you actually live



9. A habit that I have



10. Favorite food



11. Favorite animal



12. Religion



13. Dream job



This was time consuming but fun. I will warn you if you decide to do this...the pics that can come up are...shall we say, not always appropriate, so be careful :)

Election...by God

We have been doing a verse by verse study in Genesis, in Sunday School. This morning Todd brought up very interesting point. This is not word for word what he said but...

It is easier to read the old testament and accept God's choosing specific ones than to read the new testament and accept the doctrine of God's choosing specific ones. Examples: Jacob over Esau, Joseph over the other eleven, David over the other seven, even Israel over any other nation

I thought this was very interesting, not something I had ever thought about. Just thought I'd share it :)

Autumn asked...

"what is HE teaching you lately?" Well, a multitude of things, but the biggest/most prominent right now is about idols. The best definition I have ever heard for idol was:
"An idol is something I am willing to sin to get or willing to sin because I can't have it"
I've always heard and believed that idols could be anything...from a statue of a Buddha or a kachina doll to money/fame to people whether famous people or your children and/or spouse. I think I knew to that to be loved/accepted/important were also things that could be idols. I knew/know that ultimately every idol that a I/you have in our lives leads back to me/you. ( hope that makes sense) Over the last couple of days I have come to the realization, in my own life, that I am my own idol (that is very hard to admit). I did a lot of thinking and praying yesterday and came to the conclusion that the majority of what I do or don't do, I do for me...specifically my comfort and convenience. I am ashamed. I am asking God to make me truly repentant, to change my heart...to be honest these are scary prayers because they go against my desire for comfort and convenience. I don't think I have ever felt such a spiritual battle going on in my heart...it hurts but at the same time I know that God isn't going to leave me here...why else would He reveal this to me if He wasn't going to change me and make me ready for change. I'm standing on the promises that God is faithful, merciful and gracious. I'm thankful for His goodness in revealing myself to me. I pray I will continue to be open to His severe mercy.

A Tribute...

to my 19 year old nephew, Cory. He died this morning apparently from complications from pneumonia. Cory live at the Conway Human Developement Center in Conway. I just thought I would make a list of things I remember about him.

Snakes: He loved snakes, the rubber kind :) If you wanted him to look at a real one he wanted nothing to do with it because he was afraid of them. He got a box of snakes for Christmas, rubber ones :)

Handcuffs: He loved these too...not sure why.

He loved to help around the house...taking out the trash, clearing the table. He had a job in Conway, where he lived helping in restraunts clearing tables. He loved his job :) He helped Christmas day too, that was nice.

He loved his mom, Janet. He would follow her around the house like a puppy.

He loved his home, the Conway development center. It was structure for him so it was security. When he was here in Little Rock, he knew when he wanted to go home.

He enjoyed Dune, our dog, on Christmas day. Cory was sooo gentle with Dune, but you could tell he was like a little kid...he liked Dune so much he wanted to squeeze him...almost to death:)

His smile, Cory always had a smile ready. He also would come and pat people on the back in greeting.

Music: Cory loved to sing. When he would be visiting and would attend church he would join in the singing. He was also sensitive to music...Kenny G would make him cry

I'm sad Cory is gone. Cory was autistic and had other developmentle delays...he was about a 4 year old in a 19 year old body. I will miss him. I trust God that Cory is now perfect and worshipping our true and loving Lord....in song :)

Spiritual this and that

A couple of years ago Janet bought me a book called "The Valley of Vision". It is a book of prayers. I have sort of looked at it a few times but decided this year I was going to read a prayer a day. I want to share a couple of excerpts that have been meaningful to me.
Under the heading of "The Divine Will":
"If Thy mercy make me poor and vile, bless be thou!
Prayers arising from my needs are preparations for future mercies;
Help me to honor thee by believing before I feel, for great is the sin if I
make feeling a cause of faith."

There is another one, I was going to post but it is a whole prayer actually. I'm not sure if it is right(legal) to type the whole thing out in this venue. If you want to see it, let me know and I will e-mail it...that isn't so public and I think that would be okay.

I also would like to recommend another blog: http://girltalk.blogs.com/ It is the blog of Carolyn Mahaney and her girls. They are sometimes fun, sometimes practicle(spelling?) spiritually focused and down to earth (read, real). I'm enjoying that blog alot. They have some really good thoughts on fear.

These last several days have been exciting for me because God has given me a real desire to meet with Him each day and....I've been doing it. We serve such a wonderful, awesome God!!!

Christmas 2005 part 2

Ah, Christmas day :) It began actually Saturday evening. I made sure Richard, Hope and I showered Saturday so Matt, Dawn, Autumn and Andy could shower on Sunday morning. I was up early on Christmas to get ready for Jesus' Birthday Party (breakfast) This is a family tradition, that I actually had thought about stopping since it is sort of for little people but Dawn said it was one of her favorite traditions so we had it. I make 3 big pancakes, they represent God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. We use red syrup (Jesus' blood) whipped cream (we are cleasned as white as "snow") a big candle (Jesus is the light of the world) then little candles for each person (we reflect Jesus' light) It was a little nerve-wracking letting the little ones light their candle then try to put them in the "cake". The only one burned was ME :)
After breakfast it was time for presents (oh I forgot, we let the kids open presents from non-parents on Christmas eve, to save time on Christmas morning) Another tradition is we start with the youngest person and they get to open their presents while everyone watches, then the next oldest and so on. That way there is not really any present opening frenzy and people who enjoy watching others open presents get to do that. I hope to it helps teach us all to be less greedy and self-centered.
Next was time for church. The grandchildren all had yucky noses and Aut and Andy didn't feel great. As we were leaving Hope said she didn't feel well either, so they all stayed home. Church was good...as usual.
Now the real fun began, after church Richard was talking to some friends and found out they were without extended family for the holiday so he invited them to come eat with us. He is very thoughtful. I confess I wasn't thrilled at first...umm, did I make a comment earlier about learning to not be self-centered??? :) I got a lesson. (I must have hidden my frustration because he thanked me later for handling the situation so well. I say thank you LORD for putting the guard on my mouth) So we get home and Aut and Andy had straightened up the house (Thank you!!!!) I got to work on getting the tables set up (we had 28 for dinner), the sweet potatoe casserole started and checked the turkey. I need to mention I had debated whether to put the turkey in the oven before church or after since we were eating late. As you will find out, it was a good thing in went in before church. Mom and Dad came and Mom started helping in the kitchen...she is in charge of mashed potatoes, gravey, rolls. So we are working and about 2:30 I check the turkey again. It is beautiful and the little button thingy is popped up so it is ready :) I ask Mom if I should take it out or leave it in the oven to stay warm. As we debate that issue, there is an explosive sound outside and we loose power. Hence the good reason to have the turkey in the oven before church (God is SSSSOOOO in control, and I'm glad) I look at my mom and say "this is fun" That was a good response on my part because Christmas is pretty stressful for me. So we call people and tell them what happen and dinner may be delayed. I called the electric company and they say it will be between 4:20 and 5:20 before we have power restored. Richard says we should take what needs to be cooked to Mom's and finish cooking there then bring it back to our house. Which we do...20 after we are at Mom's Matt calls and says the power is back on :P Well, we stay and finish cooking everything, except the rolls, which we haul raw back to our house (this is the rolls third trip of the day :) ). We get home, get everything on the table and sit down. (When you have been cooking, there is nothing like sitting down). The meal was good, as usual, our family has really good cooks and we all help.
After dinner comes more presents, starting with the youngest. This is really chaotic. We still start with the youngest and go to the oldest. It seems the older we all get the harder it is to remember who was born when so who is next :) But we always seem to figure it out :) Soon after presents it it pie time, Dad's contribution to the day. He is the pie expert. Of course, none of us really have room but we eat it anyway and it is wonderful. Then of course everyone sits around like yard dogs. Well, the adults do, the kids play and rough house.
Soon, those who are not staying with us head home...rough housing kids make for sleepy kids :) It was a fun day, a spiritually growing day (for me), a stressful day, a noisy day but it wouldn't be Christmas any other way and I wouldn't want it any other way :)

Christmas 2005 Part 1

Well the house is very quiet now. Autumn and Andy and the grandchildren left the evening of New Years Day. Dawn and Matt left early the Monday after. My goodness it was a fun, busy two and a half weeks. Here are some memories

Dawn's baby shower: it is hard to believe just about 19 months ago we were having the bridal shower at the Shaver's home. It was a wonderful shower...good people, fun presents and great food.

Chuck E. Cheese with the grandchildren: Pizza, rides, games and tickets for prizes...need I say more. I told Erik that it will be a tradition to go to Chuck E. Cheese when they visit Nini :)

Sewing: This actually started at the beginning of December. I made Hope's Christmas dress...the top was to big so we shopped for a different top. It was fun to do with Autumn and Dawn, good to have thier opinions/help ;) Hope ended up wearing her Christmas dress on New Years day because she wasn't feeling well on Christmas day and stayed home with Aut/Andy and the kids. Then I made the grandchildren Christmas pjs. A gown for Hailey, that, may I say, looks beautiful on her and matching pants for Erik and Noah with green t-shirts. They all looked so cute. Christmas pjs are a family tradition :) Oh, and I got my Christmas present early... a new sewing machine :) Thanks, Hon!!

Christmas day....see Christmas 2005 part 2

Other little fun memories: playing shark with Hailey, being with the kids alone for a few minutes each morning, Erik coming out of the bedroom first thing in the morning, draped in his blanket (like a ghost) and me checking to see if the "blanket" would giggle then "finding" Erik in the blanket. Noah's giggle and big eyes, "yucky charms", "fute loops", "I get 1,2,3 m&ms" playing games, eating Aut's brownies (oh yum) listening to Andy play his guitar, cooking with Dawn, being teased and teasing Matt (I'm very gullible, aren't I Matt :) ) I could go on and on but real "normal" life has returned and I must wake "Sleeping Beauty". Will do part two later :)