Sunday, February 04, 2007
If you read this blog you know that I have a tremendous fear of flying and I have to do it a couple of times every year. Well, a couple of weeks ago it was time to make plane reservations. These were happy reservations. We are going to California to visit our daughter, son-in-love and grandson. Happp times, right? Well, I confess I waited 3 days to make the reservations thinking, "maybe something will happen and we won't be able to go." The possibility was there, homeschool testing is during that time. After 3 days I realized that I was letting my fear of flying keep me from making the reservations...that is called sin. After wrestling with my heart for a few minutes I got on the computer and made the reservations, with pounding heart and sweaty palms. Second part of the story....I go to a ladies bible study at our church on Wednesday nights. We are studying Jerry Bridges book "The Practice of Godliness". (making plane reservations isn't necessarily practicing godliness). In the study you have to look up verses(duh) I was reading Psalm 103, which I have done many times in the twenty years I have walked with the Lord, but it was as if I was reading ver 10 for the first time in my life(hence the title of this post).
"He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities."
I was undone. I was in my van. I was crying. As I read those verses I realized the simplicity of that verse. Then I realized that my fear of flying (see it does tie back) is based on a low view of God. I expect Him to use a plane crash, my survival and all of the pain and suffering that results as a form of punishing me for not being the "good christian" I'm suppose to be. God doesn't punish me form not living up to His standard. Jesus took all the punishment I deserved. This has been amazingly freeing. God in His goodness has taken away the fear. This happened a week or so ago and I haven't been afraid since then. I am so grateful. Truely there are no words to express my graditude to my Lord for this release. He is good all the time and He will be good no matter what happens on that plane...though I don't expect anything to happen :) Please praise the Father with me!!!!