Monday, January 28, 2008

Journey part 1

I've been thinking about this post for a while. A friend told me I needed to update my blog and I thought "I don't really have anything to blog about." Well, I suppose that isn't really true. I have literally prayed about this post and there are three things that the Lord has laid on my heart to share.

The first is a journey that I started a little over a year ago. People who know me know that I have struggled with being overweight for a looonnnggg time. I literally have been up and down the scale for the last 27 years...mostly up. Around Christmas of 2006 I began to really worry about my health. My dad had been diagnosed with diabetes. His grandmother had had it it and I knew it was hereditary. I remember just eating and eating that year. I would lay in bed at night and wonder if I was going to die. My heart would just pound, even as I would lay in bed (for all you English whizzes, I'm not sure that is correct grammar...please correct me if I'm wrong) I began to realize I had to do something to get healthy. I began to pray about it. I had tried so many different diets and failed at them all. I would go over and over in my mind about the advantages of this or that diet and then the disadvantages and of course the fact that I had done it before and failed. I was very discouraged. I talked to a good friend about it and she (I believed this was God's guidance) encouraged me to try Weight Watchers. I had done WW about 20 years ago and failed at that too. But, she had recently been successful and she showed me how the program worked now...different from when I had done it last. Well, January 17, 2007 I joined Weight Watchers. I didn't have my picture taken often before, this picture is from May of 2007. I may have been bigger by December, I honestly don't know.

So I started WW. The Lord has been sooo good to me on this journey. First, the leader of the meeting I went to couldn't have been more perfect. We are similar in age, height, goal weight and starting weight. She has kept her weight off for 5 or 6years now. What a great encouragement and incentive. Plus she is very motivating, down to earth and honest about loosing weight and keeping it off. Second, He gave me self-control I didn't know I had. I was, and am still amazed at the choices I is not my nature to choose a piece of fruit over a piece of candy but I do it and am learning to do it more and more. Next is the amount of exercise I have done in the past year...amazing. I have probably exercised more this last year than I have my whole life :D By the time July rolled around I was down 59 lbs...please hear me, this is all of the LORD and the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. I went to California to be there to help Dawn and Matt during Elijah's birth and first week or so of life (precious time!!) I was shocked that Dawn didn't recognize me. I didn't/don't see the is weird. (oh, a side note, another wonder the Lord performed was me flying alone to California and back...Amazing...Thank you, Lord!!!) Anyway, in September we (my parents, Richard and, English whizzes again forgive me if I'm wrong in my grammar :) )went to Maryland to help Dawn and Matt settle into their new home. This became my bump in the road. I'm not sure what happened but I really began to struggle with my self-control and eating properly, for my health. Another friend recently asked me if I thought being comfortable with your clothes and where you are could be a problem...I think she may be right. So from September until this day, I have been struggling. I should mention I also injured myself exercising and had to stop for quite a while. So, what has happened since September? God has continued to be good to me. I have days where I am walking in obedience to Him in this area and days where I am not. Some days I literally, in my mind, tell Him I don't want to eat a banana instead of chocolate (this may sound funny, the way it is written, but it isn't, it is sin to go against what you know is right (Romans 14:23 and James 4:17) ) So how does this show God's goodness to me? I haven't stopped the struggle! I haven't given up. Even on weeks when I knew I had not done well and I was going to have a gain on the scale...I went anyway. I tell you that is of the Lord!!! I would have given up along time ago. So I walk and fall, get up and walk some more. My ability to get up and walk some more comes from my loving, gentle, merciful heavenly Father. I still have a way to go before I get to a weight that I think is appropriate for me but the walk of this particular journey will not end until I am home in heaven with the Lord. I want to leave you with two things one a picture of what happens when the Lord, by His spirit, enables you to obey and two, more importantly, I hope this encourages you to walk in obedience to what you know is right, even if you fall over and over (there are days when I am stumbling over myself all day)keep getting up and walking in His strength and power.