Today is Autumn's birthday. She is thirty years old....today. Last night as the evening got late I began thinking about how the night went thirty years ago. I thought about my water breaking, thinking it was something else, then realizing what it was. I thought about the list I made of my contractions....they looked and felt consistent. I thought about getting to the hospital, how my mom beat me there, how the nurse told me my contractions were not consistent. They admitted me anyway. I remember getting sick....won't go into those details. I thought about my blood pressure getting high and the nurse giving me Demerol and telling me to imagine blowing a candle flame so it would gently flicker....how that worked to calm me. I thought about how quickly Autumn came. I thought about our moments together soon after she was born. Her father had gone home. We were in recovery. I remember looking at her and singing "Jesus love you" (same as Jesus love me). I remember praying for her. Funny, I wasn't a believer at that point, I thought I was, but I did earnestly pray for her.
Now, here we are thirty years later. Can it really have been thirty years. Truly it seems like it was just yesterday. The memories are so vivid. My child, my first girl, she is a woman....has been a woman for some time. It happened so fast. I am very proud of this woman. She has had struggles, hardship, heartache. She has not only survived those but has come out stronger. During those struggles, hardships and heartaches, I have continued to pray, but now I am a believer and I know who hears. I know He will answer in His time and for His glory. So, the question was asked, "how do you feel having a thirty year old child?" It feels grand. She is strong, loving, competent, beautiful (inside and out). She is a good wife, mother, daughter and nurse.
Autumn, I hope today is more than you hope for. I pray this next year is your best year yet. I hope you know how proud I am of you and how much I love you. momma