Sunday, January 02, 2011

First post of the year... I may ramble

It has been a month since I have blogged. I have a lot of thoughts that I have been considering blogging but it is all just little snips here and there, maybe not blog-worthy. But as I posted before, maybe it doesn't matter.

First of all I've heard so many people say they are excited about 2011. Can I be honest? I've dreaded it, to an extent. I cried New Year's Eve and New Year's day. I didn't want it to be 2011. I prayed and I told the Lord I knew it had to come but I really didn't want it to. I sit here blogging about this year, with tears. "Why?" you ask? Since the day I started homeschooling Hope I knew she would graduate in the year 2011. Class of '11, whoo hoo!! I can. not. believe. it. is. here. I know this is good. I know God will give me strength. I know not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. But I am sad!!! I know I will always be "Momma" to my girls and I'm glad, but part of my life, a big part, is about over. Don't people grieve when they retire? It will be different, esp. in August, when she goes to school. I know what I want to do after she goes to school and I look forward to it. (Gosh, this really is rambling. I just need to get these thoughts out. Glad I'm not being graded :D ) I know she will be okay at school. I was talking to someone recently and I told them I think as a homeschooler I have a different relationship with Hope. I was sad when Autumn and Dawn went to college. I cried at their graduations and when we left them at college but having homeschooled Hope, I think it is a different dynamic. While I am her mother, we are also friends. I wasn't so much friends with Autumn and Dawn. (Thankfully I am friends with them now :) ) I know that we can still be friends, even better friends but ..... maybe I'm rambling because I don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words. I'm so glad to know that I belong to a God who is so much bigger than me or my emotions and I know He will provide all I need to not just endure this year but to get through it and bring Him glory at the same time. Which sort of leads to the next subject....

Resolutions, so many people make them... and break them. I like the term goals instead. A goal is something you reach for, work toward and hopefully reach. A goal can't be broken, if you falter, you haven't failed, you pick up and keep going, picking up where you left off. I read on a blog (sorry, I don't remember which one) that the blogger was going to set 5 goals per month. I think that is a good idea. I'm going to set one big goal and that is to set 5 goals per month each month this year. I hope to post them here around the first of each month. Any of my (2?) readers are welcome to ask me how I'm doing... sort of an accountability thing. My goals for January are: 1) Read at least a portion of scripture every day, even Sunday(for me it is easy to say "I went to church, I don't need to read on my own")
2) Ride the stationary bike or walk 15 minutes a day 5 days a week(this is based on my health, meaning, if I don't start coughing again)
3) Track my food intake in my food journal daily
4) Make the robe I've had fabric for for over a year
5) Read A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
So there you have them. I need to list them and post them some where in my house so I don't forget I'm working toward them. This is really the first time I've done something like this, I'm a bit excited and a little apprehensive.

One more thing. I was reading in Luke the other day, the story of the 1o lepers that Jesus healed. Only one came back to express thanks and he was a samaritan. At the end of the exchange Jesus says "your faith has made you well." I had a couple thoughts/questions. 1) Did the other lepers remain healed? 2)Is there a connection between gratitude and faith? Does thankfulness to God express faith in God. I know that we are (should be) grateful to the Lord for all He has done, the faith He has given us, the call He has made on our lives, etc. I just find it interesting that it is after the samaritan expresses gratitude for his healing that Jesus tells him that his faith has made him well. Any thoughts?

Well, if you have made it this far.... thanks for reading. I really would like your thoughts, if you care to share them :)