Thursday, December 02, 2010

Just Blogging

So it has already been a week (or more) since I blogged. Sometimes I think of things to blog but it seems so small that is doesn't seem worth it. I wonder if it is. I'm wondering what part blogging should have in my life, if any part. Is what I think or have to say that important? What is the point of blogging? To get readers? To see who cares about what you say? I love reading other peoples blogs, why is that? Are we all just so interested in what is going on in others lives that we read, essentially, their journal, not that people put things on their blogs that they would put in a person journal.... I hope not any way.

Any way, here are some things I'm thinking about:

On Thanksgiving we alway go to Texarkana to be with Richard's family. Some years I look forward to it and other years not so much. This year was a not so much year, mostly due to being sick for so long and fatigued. So we went and it rained harder than I have ever seen it rain. It was while we were driving between Alexander and Malvern. I was so afraid. You literally couldn't see 1/8 of a mile in front of you, it was worse if the person in front of you didn't have their lights on. In my mind I was complaining to God and wanting to tell Richard to take me home. We went to Texarkana and had a nice day and came home a little early, for which I was thankful :) The next night I was on the computer but listening to the news. They had a report about a house fire in Pulaski County, for some reason I looked at the TV and realized they were talking about another homeschool family. I couldn't believe it. As I thought about it later, it made me grateful that the rain had come and had come in buckets...the family lost everything but they all survived, with no injuries, but I wondered if it hadn't rained so much or so hard, would the house have burned faster? I won't know and don't need to, but it sure changed my perspective about the rain.

Another subject: As of today I have been coughing for 59 days. I have been to the doctor several times, had blood drawn, x-rays, chest CT, on multiple meds.... not getting any better. Next Wednesday I'm having a bronchoscopy done so the doctor can look in my airways and take some samples to see if they can figure out what is wrong. I'm hoping they do figure out what is wrong and that it is treatable. This cough is very taxing and causes fatigue and shortness of breath. Being worn out is sort of putting a cramp in my life.... I'm usually finished shopping for Christmas by now and have everything wrapped. I'm not done shopping and have only wrapped 2 presents. Part of me doesn't care, because I'm so tired but another part of me wants to quickly get it done so I can rest. I've also discovered that physical fatigue can cause mental fatigue too, sort of weird. I know that it is possible that what ever this is might be something I have to live with. I've been praying that if that is the case that the Lord will show me how I'm supposed to live my "new normal" for His glory. It will be hard... at least this side of the grace I will need it seems hard. Just making my bed makes me cough. I don't get a lot done each day, but I am trying to do a few things each day, with rests in between. I want Him to get glory, no matter what happens.